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When wanted bank robbers and their hostages, are taken captive and chained together in a lonely cop’s basement, they learn he’s secretly a serial killer, and must work together to escape before becoming his next victim.
Sorry, but I have to agree with dpg on this one. I think there's something interesting in the "cop who's a serial killer" idea but this story is in desperate need of a single protagonist. You mention something character driven but you have the group working collectively as the hero - considering thiRead more
Sorry, but I have to agree with dpg on this one. I think there’s something interesting in the “cop who’s a serial killer” idea but this story is in desperate need of a single protagonist. You mention something character driven but you have the group working collectively as the hero – considering this group contains criminals and their hostages I’d imagine some conflict here that would require one person to unite them – I want to know what his/her story is.
Ultimately though, you need to figure out how to make it believable first. It could be that it totally works but it’s just not coming through in the logline. I’m not sure if it’s the story that is unbelievable or simply the logline doesn’t quite have the details needed.
How does this cop get all these people in the basement?
Maybe explore the “cop who’s a serial killer” idea in a different way?
See lessWhen an explorer’s ancient necklace is stolen, she must retrieve it before it is used for evil.
Who is "she"? Give us more information about your protagonist. You haven't specified that the necklace is magical in any way... maybe confirm this just to dispel any doubts and give us more specifics about how it is actually going to be used for evil. This way, we understand what's at stake.
Who is “she”? Give us more information about your protagonist.
You haven’t specified that the necklace is magical in any way… maybe confirm this just to dispel any doubts and give us more specifics about how it is actually going to be used for evil. This way, we understand what’s at stake.
See lessA young medium is tasked with cleansing an old mansion but the spirits would kill to protect their dark secrets.
A logline ideally should be under 35 words but it?s simply a guideline to make you think hard about what elements are essential to understanding your story. The fact your protagonist is a con artist is a huge story point because that immediately changes everything. So the question now is who is sheRead more
A logline ideally should be under 35 words but it?s simply a guideline to make you think hard about what elements are essential to understanding your story. The fact your protagonist is a con artist is a huge story point because that immediately changes everything. So the question now is who is she conning and why? The answers to all of these questions don?t have to be in the logline but we ask them so you consider whether it should be.
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