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After discovering their world is never safe while his magic ring exists, a humble halfling must journey to the fire mountain where it was forged and destroy it while a dark lord seeks it to cover the land in darkness.
Thanks for the comments, dpg. As usual, valuable feedback.Regarding your concerns:1] You've missed a word out (which admittedly means I might need to make it more obvious within the logline). "A dark lord seeks IT to cover the land in darkness." This connects the two.2] This is something I labouredRead more
Thanks for the comments, dpg. As usual, valuable feedback.
Regarding your concerns:
1] You’ve missed a word out (which admittedly means I might need to make it more obvious within the logline). “A dark lord seeks IT to cover the land in darkness.” This connects the two.
2] This is something I laboured over quite a lot. It made me think about whether the inciting incident should be when Frodo learns the truth or when the audience does. From Frodo’s perspective, it’s only when he understands the significance of the ring and how to destroy it that his quest truly begins as this is when he takes a proactive decision and volunteers to take the ring to Mordor. This happens at the Council of Elrond. Although, this could be the Act I turning point. I agree your inciting incident is more likely the correct point, but should it be written from Frodo’s perspective:
“When he learns from a wise wizard the dark lord knows the whereabouts of a ring with the power to rule Middle Earth, the ring’s humble owner ?must…”
Or similar…?
I was also thinking, if we went with this approach, why destroy the ring? Why can’t they use this powerful ring to just kill the dark lord? This is why I wanted the inciting incident to suggest that the only option is to destroy it.?
Tricky one… but I think fantasy always is.?
See lessCrashed on a faraway planet with retrograde amnesia, a young, ingenious but highly schizophrenic astronaut strives to rebuild her spacecraft while endeavoring to outwit a manipulative, shape-shifting alien whose sole impetus is to repopulate by abusing her as a host.
My understanding is that retrograde amnesia causes you to lose existing memories. How come she remembers how to rebuild her spacecraft? I agree with dpg. I'm also curious as to why she needs to be schizophrenic? What purpose does that have within the story?
My understanding is that retrograde amnesia causes you to lose existing memories. How come she remembers how to rebuild her spacecraft?
I agree with dpg. I’m also curious as to why she needs to be schizophrenic? What purpose does that have within the story?
See lessAfter discovering their world is never safe while his magic ring exists, a humble halfling must journey to the fire mountain where it was forged and destroy it while a dark lord seeks it to cover the land in darkness.
I'm currently writing a collection of articles about loglines and in the one I'm doing about the inciting incident, I'm suggesting that even in stories set within incredibly elaborate worlds, with lots of characters, subplots, etc. the event that kicks the story off is often a very small moment whicRead more
I’m currently writing a collection of articles about loglines and in the one I’m doing about the inciting incident, I’m suggesting that even in stories set within incredibly elaborate worlds, with lots of characters, subplots, etc. the event that kicks the story off is often a very small moment which sets up the goal without needing loads of exposition and world building.
I’d be grateful for any comments on this logline (specifically the inciting incident) or thoughts about loglines in general.
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