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On the bottom floor of a skyscraper, which is the last refuge of humanity after a devastating plague, a cunning thief must lead a team to stop the mass execution of people by a mad overlord who wants the depleting resources for himself, and his people only, the thief discovers that the plague never left and that could cost him everything.
Does the whole film take place on the bottom floor of a skyscraper? If so, how is the floor divided up? Can they go outside? At 61 words this is a little long for a logline. Ideally, it should be under 40 - the shorter the better. I appreciate, however, that there's a bit of world building you needRead more
Does the whole film take place on the bottom floor of a skyscraper? If so, how is the floor divided up? Can they go outside?
At 61 words this is a little long for a logline. Ideally, it should be under 40 – the shorter the better. I appreciate, however, that there’s a bit of world building you need to do and an MPR.
I’m not sure the bit about the bottom floor of the skyscraper is necessary. I think the story is the same either way – although, if the whole thing is shot in that one location… it’s interesting. I could be swayed either way.
I would move a few things around and trim it down a little:
In a world devastated by a plague, when a power-hungry overlord begins a genocidal mission over the depleting resources, a cunning thief must lead a uniquely skilled team of people to assassinate him. ?(33 words)
I’ve removed the MPR for the moment as I’m not sure what the thief’s goal would be after they discover this. I’m not even sure it would make any difference to the overlord’s desire for resources so the goal of killing him would still be there. There’s no information that tells us the plague has disappeared so, as far as the reader goes, it’s still there anyway.
“discovers that the plague never left and that could cost him everything” – he’s set to lose everything anyway if the overlord gets his way. This is another reason I’ve left it out. I think having the plague a constant threat adds a level of tension that will trickle in throughout.
I would keep the bit about the bottom floor of the skyscraper IF going outside is dangerous AND in order to achieve their goal the thief and crew must go outside. It must be relevant to the story you are trying to tell.
Cool idea! Looking forward to seeing where this goes.
Hope this helps.
See lessTo create a superior race, an Albino rapes members of his own Black community, then his offspring use White magic to drastically increase their numbers and later summon demons to turn the tides of war.
Whilst it may be set in the past, I think historical films would be ones which focused on events from mankind's history. This would fall under fantasy to me. What is the event that kicks this story off? Who is the protagonist? What is their goal? These three questions are really important to understRead more
Whilst it may be set in the past, I think historical films would be ones which focused on events from mankind’s history. This would fall under fantasy to me.
What is the event that kicks this story off? Who is the protagonist? What is their goal?
These three questions are really important to understanding the story. Without these, you simply have a premise. I think the world in which your story is set is an interesting one. Now give us an individual’s story through this war.
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Sounds like fun! I like this idea! I think Richiev's version highlights the goal of escaping the Sasquatch and the government agency which I think is more important than simply escaping the wilderness (she's a forest ranger... surely this is where she's most comfortable?). My only query is why doesRead more
Sounds like fun! I like this idea!
I think Richiev’s version highlights the goal of escaping the Sasquatch and the government agency which I think is more important than simply escaping the wilderness (she’s a forest ranger… surely this is where she’s most comfortable?).
My only query is why does the government agency want to kill her? I think that maybe needs to hinted at. I’m guessing it’s to keep the Sasquatch’s existence under wraps but I think that motive is important to understanding the story.
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