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Forrester´s old Apartment is now a gang infested slum where Jamal has fallen on drunken times, and a genius savant gangster discovers the one man who can make his life wonderful – the famous Mr. Wallace.
I would recommend checking out the formula page. A logline needs to have three things: A character, an event, and an action. At the moment you just have a character. Based on your synopsis I'm imagining something like this: When a drunken man's apartment complex is overrun by gangsters he must fightRead more
I would recommend checking out the formula page. A logline needs to have three things: A character, an event, and an action. At the moment you just have a character.
Based on your synopsis I’m imagining something like this:
When a drunken man’s apartment complex is overrun by gangsters he must fight off his habits to take back what’s his.
See lessIn a future where children must be raised by AI, the director of the largest AI firm risks arrest and death when she chooses to raise her infant son by herself.
I think you need something that forces her to make this decision. I don't see an event that triggers her to make this decision other than she just wants to. You need to show a reason for why she HAS TO raise her child rather than let the AI raise them. Maybe after giving birth she discovers a horribRead more
I think you need something that forces her to make this decision. I don’t see an event that triggers her to make this decision other than she just wants to. You need to show a reason for why she HAS TO raise her child rather than let the AI raise them. Maybe after giving birth she discovers a horrible truth about how the AI are raising the children and that makes her want to raise the child herself?
See lessA horse rider develops a relationship with a woman in order to help overcome her fear of horses.
Completely agree with Lotcher. I would recommend you check out the formula section of the site to see a good outline for writing loglines. Along with Lotcher's comments your logline also doesn't have an event. Something needs to happen to your character which forces them to take action.
Completely agree with Lotcher. I would recommend you check out the formula section of the site to see a good outline for writing loglines. Along with Lotcher’s comments your logline also doesn’t have an event. Something needs to happen to your character which forces them to take action.
See less