1. Posted: April 24, 2012In: ,

    While posing as a street person at night to scam people, a conniving ad executive is faced with his greatest fears when he loses everything and becomes homeless himself!

    fejumas

    This is more of a question than a comment about the actual logline: why would an ad executive pose as a homeless man to scam people?

    This is more of a question than a comment about the actual logline: why would an ad executive pose as a homeless man to scam people?

    See less
    • 0
  2. Posted: April 13, 2012In:

    In 1955, a young Debutante is sole witness to murder and must enlist the help of another criminal, his niece, to help her get to safety. But the killer is on their trail and he?ll stop at nothing to silence them.

    fejumas

    Agree with sharkeatingman - unless the time period is essential to your script, leave it out or move your story to present day. My guess is the murder victim is an historical character tied to that time period, maybe? I was a little confused by the wording - the criminal who the debutante enlists isRead more

    Agree with sharkeatingman – unless the time period is essential to your script, leave it out or move your story to present day. My guess is the murder victim is an historical character tied to that time period, maybe? I was a little confused by the wording – the criminal who the debutante enlists is the murder victim’s niece? So, two chicks on the run? Could be an interesting play on a Thelma and Louise theme; haven’t had one of those since…well, since Thelma and Louise. Still missing a hook though.
    Protag – debutante
    Antag – killer
    Goal – try to not get killed/get to safety
    Hook – What’s the hook? Is the killer someone she knows and trusts?

    There has to be something unique about your story that sets it apart from the very familiar story that you’re portraying in your logline.

    See less
    • 0