1. Posted: May 30, 2012In:

    When a prototype super-soldier goes rogue, he struggles to make his way home before the U.S. Army closes in and reclaims its property.

    fejumas

    I remember Dark Angel - saw the first 3 episodes and then lost interest. That was an interesting twist on the super soldier concept. I agree with your comment about providing a personal touch, and that's definitely something I want to emphasize in the actual script but haven't figured out how to incRead more

    I remember Dark Angel – saw the first 3 episodes and then lost interest. That was an interesting twist on the super soldier concept. I agree with your comment about providing a personal touch, and that’s definitely something I want to emphasize in the actual script but haven’t figured out how to incorporate into the logline. Thanks for your feedback!

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  2. Posted: May 30, 2012In:

    After losing his life-savings to a malpractice suit, a small town physician takes money from a crime syndicate in order to provide illegal care, unaware of how deeply he will be involved with the murderous gang.

    fejumas

    Tim Lea is correct. What is the connection between the physician taking money and providing illegal care? Did he lose his license, is that why he has to practice illegally? Also, does he "take" (this makes me think he stole the money) or "borrow" money? There's a difference. Also, if he knowingly taRead more

    Tim Lea is correct. What is the connection between the physician taking money and providing illegal care? Did he lose his license, is that why he has to practice illegally? Also, does he “take” (this makes me think he stole the money) or “borrow” money? There’s a difference.

    Also, if he knowingly takes money from a crime syndicate, he’d have to be a little naive to not realize what he’s getting into – nothing good can happen from owing the mob. At least, not in the movies 😉 The last part – “unaware of how deeply he will be involved with the murderous gang” – is too vague. Can you be more specific about what the stakes are for the physician?

    I’m guessing this is a gangster drama, with emphasis on the drama?

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  3. Posted: May 30, 2012In:

    When a prototype super-soldier goes rogue, he struggles to make his way home before the U.S. Army closes in and reclaims its property.

    fejumas

    Thanks for the comment, Geno. I always operate under the edict "give us the same, but different", so the challenge is to find that unique hook. So far, the concept is something along the lines of Six Billion Dollar Man meets First Blood. Have to do more research...

    Thanks for the comment, Geno. I always operate under the edict “give us the same, but different”, so the challenge is to find that unique hook. So far, the concept is something along the lines of Six Billion Dollar Man meets First Blood. Have to do more research…

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