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On a dare a naive orphan tries to get aboard a legendary space ship, and back to the orphanage before dinner with a "souvenir" from the ship or the two bullies who made the dare will smash his model space ship.
I have a beat sheet that's filled in, all except the Finale beat, which is pretty much act 3... I haven't decided exactly how it ends yet. But otherwise I've pretty much figured it out, and started writing the script.
I have a beat sheet that’s filled in, all except the Finale beat, which is pretty much act 3… I haven’t decided exactly how it ends yet. But otherwise I’ve pretty much figured it out, and started writing the script.
See lessOn a dare a naive orphan tries to get aboard a legendary space ship, and back to the orphanage before dinner with a "souvenir" from the ship or the two bullies who made the dare will smash his model space ship.
Thanks Filmstar. High Concept, huh? Wow. I thought it was a good idea, but this is better response than I could have dreamed of. :) I'm writing down the suggested loglines so I can decide which version I like best, and maybe come up with a really good one myself. Thanks again.
Thanks Filmstar. High Concept, huh? Wow. I thought it was a good idea, but this is better response than I could have dreamed of. 🙂 I’m writing down the suggested loglines so I can decide which version I like best, and maybe come up with a really good one myself. Thanks again.
See lessOn a dare a naive orphan tries to get aboard a legendary space ship, and back to the orphanage before dinner with a "souvenir" from the ship or the two bullies who made the dare will smash his model space ship.
Thank you. This isn't my first logline or my first iteration of a logline for this project. There's an earlier version a page or two back. I think that one may actually be shorter, but this works better where I have the bullies as antagonists rather than the security guard in the earlier version. IRead more
Thank you. This isn’t my first logline or my first iteration of a logline for this project. There’s an earlier version a page or two back. I think that one may actually be shorter, but this works better where I have the bullies as antagonists rather than the security guard in the earlier version.
I was worried about including the bullies and the stakes of the ship would make it long, which it did. I do like your version too. I would probably cut the adjective obnoxious myself. Besides, I think all bullies are obnoxious, or rather being a bully makes one obnoxious.
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