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possible sci-fi thriller “the ghost of past and future”
I, like DPG, can't get a clear grasp on the plot from the logline. After reading your explanation, it's a bit easier to understand what you're trying to do in terms of a premise - a time loop that threatens to undermine the integrity of space-time. However, loglines are used to describe plots and thRead more
I, like DPG, can’t get a clear grasp on the plot from the logline. After reading your explanation, it’s a bit easier to understand what you’re trying to do in terms of a premise – a time loop that threatens to undermine the integrity of space-time. However, loglines are used to describe plots and that’s still unclear.
What specifically does the MC want to achieve by the end of the story and how will he go about achieving it? In other words, what are the time cops threatening to do to him?
See lessWhen a medieval princess releases an evil spirit that intends to murder her husband, she must find a way to destroy the spirit and save her husband.
The story starts when the spirit threatens to kill her husband - as inciting incidents go a threat is fine but it can be better. What if the spirit were to kill the husband and try to kill her child? Now the inciting incident is much more significant and the threat gains some weight. Best to rewordRead more
The story starts when the spirit threatens to kill her husband – as inciting incidents go a threat is fine but it can be better. What if the spirit were to kill the husband and try to kill her child? Now the inciting incident is much more significant and the threat gains some weight.
Best to reword the logline so it starts from the threat to kill and then describes the action she takes to eliminate said threat – destroy the spirit, banish it to hell, or catch it in a Ghost Trap (who you gonna call…).
Ultimately, whatever it is she does needs to be described in the logline in more detail than it is now.
See lesspossible rites of passage “the masterpiece”
The concept lacks dramatic stakes. What's the worst that would happen should he make the film and stay true to his vision? At the same time, what's the worst that would happen should he not? I simply can't see a friendship as a worthy enough stake, certainly not in today's saturated market full of hRead more
The concept lacks dramatic stakes. What’s the worst that would happen should he make the film and stay true to his vision? At the same time, what’s the worst that would happen should he not? I simply can’t see a friendship as a worthy enough stake, certainly not in today’s saturated market full of high-end dramas and action-packed adventures. More so, this is a Hollywood insider story and most producers hate/avoid reading these kinds of scripts.
The Coen Brothers could get away with it, maybe…
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