Sign Up Sign Up

Captcha Click on image to update the captcha.

Have an account? Sign In Now

Sign In Sign In

Forgot Password?

If you'd like access, Sign Up Here

Forgot Password Forgot Password

Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email.

Captcha Click on image to update the captcha.

Have an account? Sign In Now

Sorry, you do not have permission to ask a question, You must login to ask a question.

Forgot Password?

To see everything, Sign Up Here

Sorry, you do not have permission to ask a question, You must login to ask a question.

Forgot Password?

To see everything, Sign Up Here

Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.

Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.

Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.

Logline It! Logo Logline It! Logo
Sign InSign Up

Logline It!

Logline It! Navigation

  • Sign Up
  • Logline Generator
  • Learn our simple Logline Formula
  • Search Loglines
Search
Post Your Logline

Mobile menu

Close
Post Your Logline
  • Signup
  • Sign Up
  • Logline Generator
  • Learn our simple Logline Formula
  • Search Loglines
  • About
  • Questions
  • Answers
  • Best Answers
  1. Posted: February 12, 2017In: Student Loglines

    When the livestock of a small farming community comes under attack from a mysterious predator the sheriff gathers a coalition of the willing to venture into the woods to find and kill the animal. However as they trek further and further into the woods, they are killed off one by one and the sheriff, realizing one of them is the monster in disguise, must solve the mystery of who?s the killer. *This one feels messier then the previous one but how do I accentuate the details whilst still keeping it brief?

    Neer Shelter Singularity
    Added an answer on February 12, 2017 at 11:55 am

    You've added more detail that shouldn't be added, didn't add detail that should, and at 77 words the logline is too long - brevity helps the reader understand your concept. In short, and seeing as it wasn't explained well enough, loglines are made up of clear details of the major plot points of theRead more

    You’ve added more detail that shouldn’t be added, didn’t add detail that should, and at 77 words the logline is too long – brevity helps the reader understand your concept.

    In short, and seeing as it wasn’t explained well enough, loglines are made up of clear details of the major plot points of the story. The farming community being small is irrelevant, who gathers the hunting party is irrelevant, it being a coalition of willing is irrelevant, where they will venture off to catch the beast is irrelevant, them trecking further and further into the woods is irrelevant.

    The main character is relevant, you NEED one main character for the story to be focused on. I get that you have a story in mind about a few people hunting, but to make this work you need one dramatic point of view for the story to be told from.
    Who is the main character in the group? Is it one of the farmers that lost animals, or better yet one of his or her children, to the beast? Is it the sheriff? Is it the leader of the hunting party?

    Second is the inciting incident, what spurs the main character on to take action? In other words, what is the powerful motivating out of the ordinary event that makes the main character have to achieve a goal?

    Segue in to…

    The goal! Yes, it’s pretty obvious that the goal is to catch the beast, but you need to specify what this means – kill it, prevent other people or animals from being mutilated, banish it to hell. Whatever it is, specifically, that the main character intends to do must be described.

    From the many iterations you’ve posted already, I have pieced together enough information to provide you with an example:
    After his son is killed by a livestock mutilating beast, a farmer leads a hunting party to kill it and prevent more tragedies.
    23 words.

    Here is another example of the same concept that includes a form of twist:
    After her son is killed by a beast, a farmer leads a hunting party after it, but they are attacked and realize the beast is a shapeshifter amongst them.
    29 words.

    See less
    • 0
    • Share
      Share
      • Share on Facebook
      • Share on Twitter
      • Share on LinkedIn
      • Share on WhatsApp
  2. Posted: February 10, 2017In: Fantasy

    In the year 3,000 since the hell-break an ex-soldier is helping group of small weasel-like creatures to cross hostile continent in search for their homeland. Part of the payment he receives is not simply a toy like he believes in the beginning but a mysterious powerful entity.

    Neer Shelter Singularity
    Added an answer on February 11, 2017 at 11:53 am

    As DPG wrote a reluctant hero is often a better approach, explained well by Chris Vogler in The Writer's Journey, as it imbues the decision the MC makes with significance and adds weight to their burden. However, the hero's reluctance doesn't need to be specified in the logline - it's not directly rRead more

    As DPG wrote a reluctant hero is often a better approach, explained well by Chris Vogler in The Writer’s Journey, as it imbues the decision the MC makes with significance and adds weight to their burden. However, the hero’s reluctance doesn’t need to be specified in the logline – it’s not directly related to the plot and almost a given that there will be some reluctance.

    See less
    • 0
    • Share
      Share
      • Share on Facebook
      • Share on Twitter
      • Share on LinkedIn
      • Share on WhatsApp
  3. Posted: February 10, 2017In: Fantasy

    In the year 3,000 since the hell-break an ex-soldier is helping group of small weasel-like creatures to cross hostile continent in search for their homeland. Part of the payment he receives is not simply a toy like he believes in the beginning but a mysterious powerful entity.

    Neer Shelter Singularity
    Added an answer on February 10, 2017 at 2:54 pm

    Agreed with Nicholas. Also, the wording is confusing in your logline. Loglines thrive on clarity if someone needs to double back during the read and piece together broken sentences the logline will fail in its goal. Brevity, clarity, simple sentences and correct grammar are essential regardless.

    Agreed with Nicholas.

    Also, the wording is confusing in your logline. Loglines thrive on clarity if someone needs to double back during the read and piece together broken sentences the logline will fail in its goal. Brevity, clarity, simple sentences and correct grammar are essential regardless.

    See less
    • 0
    • Share
      Share
      • Share on Facebook
      • Share on Twitter
      • Share on LinkedIn
      • Share on WhatsApp
1 … 50 51 52 53 54 … 86

Sidebar

Stats

  • Loglines 8,000
  • Reviews 32,189
  • Best Reviews 629
  • Users 3,731

screenwriting courses

Adv 120x600

aalan

Explore

  • Signup

Footer

© 2022 Karel Segers. All Rights Reserved
With Love from Immersion Screenwriting.