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Hostage
You've described act 1 in the explanation, but it isn't clear what the rest of the film will be about. After the MC (young cop) formulates his goal (save the guy's life), he needs to take action to do it - what is that action? Will he have the older cop arrested, killed or locked up in a loony bin?Read more
You’ve described act 1 in the explanation, but it isn’t clear what the rest of the film will be about. After the MC (young cop) formulates his goal (save the guy’s life), he needs to take action to do it – what is that action? Will he have the older cop arrested, killed or locked up in a loony bin?
I suggest rethinking this concept and redrafting the logline so it starts with the threat to the guy’s life as the inciting incident.
For example:
See lessAfter his corrupt partner threatens to kill a suspect in their custody, a newbie cop must [fill the gap ‘good action’] to save his life.
A self-centered man, doubting his relationship with his girlfriend, finds a way to jump through dimensions to find the woman he believes was ?the one,? but risks collapsing the entire multiverse before he finds her.
Agreed with Foxtrot25 and DPG. This could work as an OTT comedy based on a ludicrous premise ala' Hot Tub Time Machine. I would struggle to see it getting made without a Hollywood insider in on the development, but you never know.
Agreed with Foxtrot25 and DPG.
This could work as an OTT comedy based on a ludicrous premise ala’ Hot Tub Time Machine. I would struggle to see it getting made without a Hollywood insider in on the development, but you never know.
See lessWhen a young successful fashion model suffering from neglect and heartbreak from her lover. She seeks love and comfort from his arch rival for revenge.
It sounds like there are many melodramatic moments in this story and very low stakes. She wants a better man and finds it, then her first man finds out and gets angry. Up until this point in the story nothing is out of the ordinary, or in other words, no inciting incident has occurred. The first manRead more
It sounds like there are many melodramatic moments in this story and very low stakes. She wants a better man and finds it, then her first man finds out and gets angry. Up until this point in the story nothing is out of the ordinary, or in other words, no inciting incident has occurred.
The first man threatens the new man’s life – could be seen as an inciting incident. She must now take action to stop him from killing her new love – this is act 2. For an MC’s action this is too slim (pardon the pun…) there simply isn’t enough, in her trying to stop him, to make a whole act 2 of a film.
If she fails, the first man kills the new one, she’s left alone and I’m not sure what the point of the film was. If she succeeds, she lives happily ever after with the new man – a pedestrian outcome at best. There’s no ‘hook’, twist or anything that makes this a story worthy problem for a film.
See less