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A former high school jock is thrust into duty to save his high school reunion after a prank turns his classmates into the living dead.
So zombies in high school... Agreed with Nicholas, what about this will stand out and make a producer want to read the script? What's the twist/hook?
So zombies in high school…
Agreed with Nicholas, what about this will stand out and make a producer want to read the script? What’s the twist/hook?
See lessAfter a happy-go-lucky Marine survives an assassination attempt, he goes after the man behind it, a rogue officer, and stop him from selling WMDs to the government of an enemy planet.
Agreed with Foxtrot25, the premise lacks credibility at this stage.It isn't clear why these things are happening to this guy now, and why he, of all people, must stop the WMDs from being sold.Also, there is no direct (or clear) cause and effect between somebody trying to kill him and his need to stoRead more
Agreed with Foxtrot25, the premise lacks credibility at this stage.
It isn’t clear why these things are happening to this guy now, and why he, of all people, must stop the WMDs from being sold.
Also, there is no direct (or clear) cause and effect between somebody trying to kill him and his need to stop the WMDs.? Last thing, the word “…planet…” at the end indicates that this is a scifi, is that the case? If so you would need to describe, earlier on in the logline, the sci-fi elements – space marine, intergalactic something or other, etc…
See lessAfter her rich husband and her lover are found murdered on her living room floor, a beautiful woman must prove her innocence to avoid being murdered by the police while in custody.
Vigilante cops are very hard to buy as a viewer. Sure there is probably lots of corruption in law enforcement and likely many bad apples, but for that to be a central part of the story you would need to dedicate a whole plot just to establish the true nature of these "bad cops". In Dirty Harry the fRead more
Vigilante cops are very hard to buy as a viewer. Sure there is probably lots of corruption in law enforcement and likely many bad apples, but for that to be a central part of the story you would need to dedicate a whole plot just to establish the true nature of these “bad cops”. In Dirty Harry the film’s central plot revolves around “Bad Cops”, what they do and how they get away with it, whereas here it revolves around an innocent woman.
More to the point, having her talk about her story instead of seeing her in it is very un-cinematic and likely going to work against you. Is this planned on being a Usual Suspect style retelling of events? If so, that gimmick has been done and I’m not sure what about her story would hook a reader.
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