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When his medication stops working, a divorced writer must relive the inception of his MYSTERIOUS ILLNESS to remember how he stopped it as a child. (26)
The concept is unclear. The logline raises too many questions, not through intrigue but confusion. What does mysterious illness mean? What are the symptoms? Is this a mental condition? How does it manifest itself?? How will he relive the inception of his condition? Where there no other people aroundRead more
The concept is unclear. The logline raises too many questions, not through intrigue but confusion.
What does mysterious illness mean? What are the symptoms? Is this a mental condition? How does it manifest itself?? How will he relive the inception of his condition? Where there no other people around him that remembered what he did as a kid to stop the illness?? If he did it as a kid why does he need to re live it again instead of fighting it as an adult? Is his goal to cure himself or something else?
Lastly, it sounds like most of the antagonistic force and MC actions are internal, in other words, it’s not cinematic what action does he take that will be visual?
See lessA drop-dead gorgeous mute is bartered into a harem where beauty is a death sentence and she must find her voice to survive.
It sounds as if the antagonist would be one of the other women in the harem, therefore, the antagonist needs to be described and the dangers clarified. Will the antagonist try to kill her? Administer genital mutilation on her? Threaten the her family? "...find her voice..." reads as a weak action foRead more
It sounds as if the antagonist would be one of the other women in the harem, therefore, the antagonist needs to be described and the dangers clarified. Will the antagonist try to kill her? Administer genital mutilation on her? Threaten the her family?
“…find her voice…” reads as a weak action for a logline, is there anything else she has to do in order to survive? Does she need to climb the ranks of the harem in order to survive? Kill or be killed?
See lessWhen her occult bookshop is burned down, an angry, self-loathing Witch must stop a secret organisation from murdering powerful witches.
This sounds really good, there's a lot of potential for obstacles, conflict and nice big set pieces. Is this set in a Harry Potter type world where there are witches and wizards living in none magic people's society? Or is this world inhabited entirely by magical people and creatures?
This sounds really good, there’s a lot of potential for obstacles, conflict and nice big set pieces.
Is this set in a Harry Potter type world where there are witches and wizards living in none magic people’s society? Or is this world inhabited entirely by magical people and creatures?
See less