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When inheriting his father’s car, Tom is exposed to all his secrets and while trying to re-establish with his ex-girlfriend, is forced to deal with the consequences of these revelations.
Agreed with the above, there is no need to name the character better to describe him instead. also getting his father's car seems a little underwhelming as an inciting incident. Could you specify one significant secret the MC finds out that would drive him to take action? Lastly, the ex is more of aRead more
Agreed with the above, there is no need to name the character better to describe him instead.
also getting his father’s car seems a little underwhelming as an inciting incident.
Could you specify one significant secret the MC finds out that would drive him to take action?
Lastly, the ex is more of a ‘B’ plot and can, therefore, be cut from the logline.
See lessDue to imminent war conflict between magisterial government and local guerilla party, local man joins rebels on life-risking mission for exchange of safe passage for him and his pregnant wife out of the quarantined town.
Reorder the descriptions and make it so he has to fight the military that is directly threatening his wife instead of it being an agreement he has with the guerilla fighters. This way his fight has very high stakes for him, it's not a matter of keeping his end of a bargain up rather he directly hasRead more
Reorder the descriptions and make it so he has to fight the military that is directly threatening his wife instead of it being an agreement he has with the guerilla fighters. This way his fight has very high stakes for him, it’s not a matter of keeping his end of a bargain up rather he directly has to protect the wife:
After war breaks out a farmer must help the guerilla fighters against the government to prevent an attack on his pregnant wife in their home.
But as DPG pointed out, where is this happening?
See lessA dark past. The distant future. A journey into chaos and redemption
No character. No goal. No plot. Best you check out the 'Formula' tab up on the top bar.
No character. No goal. No plot.
Best you check out the ‘Formula’ tab up on the top bar.
See less