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A mysterious Dark Planet, a troubled Test Pilot lost at the far side of the Galaxy overcoming the vast obstacles to find his way home to his beloved daughter and wife.
Good point DPG. Once the stakes are made clear, the subsequent conflict will form a hook. Also, wouldn't it be an astronaut that gets stranded on a planet? A test pilot implies that he flew a jet within Earth's atmosphere, but being an astronaut means he flew to outer space. Lastly, wording and struRead more
Good point DPG. Once the stakes are made clear, the subsequent conflict will form a hook.
Also, wouldn’t it be an astronaut that gets stranded on a planet? A test pilot implies that he flew a jet within Earth’s atmosphere, but being an astronaut means he flew to outer space.
Lastly, wording and structure are very important in a logline. In this case, the first and second clauses are not connected. Perhaps change it around so his being stranded on the planet is clearly the inciting event. For example: After being stranded on a dark planet, a troubled astronaut must…
See lessInspired by true events, in 1973 a precocious 15-year old boy gets a writing gig from Rolling Stone magazine that sends him on a wild cross-country bus Odyssey with a struggling rock band.
Great film and good choice. Could also be interesting to prioritise the love interest as the 'A' plot: After landing a writing assignment, a 15 year old aspiring writer falls in love with a roady following the band he was tasked to cover and must woo her away from the clutches of the lead singer.
Great film and good choice. Could also be interesting to prioritise the love interest as the ‘A’ plot:
After landing a writing assignment, a 15 year old aspiring writer falls in love with a roady following the band he was tasked to cover and must woo her away from the clutches of the lead singer.
See lessBorrowed Time
Agreed with the above. This is interesting. The concept needs conflict, and simply avoiding the enforcers doesn't sound very enticing. More to the point, what is his goal? Keep avoiding them? Until when? What's the endpoint? What if he decides to actively stop the system of death? This way you put hRead more
Agreed with the above. This is interesting.
The concept needs conflict, and simply avoiding the enforcers doesn’t sound very enticing. More to the point, what is his goal? Keep avoiding them? Until when? What’s the endpoint?
What if he decides to actively stop the system of death? This way you put him on a path to clash with the big scary folk.
How about:
See lessAfter avoiding his demise in a world of predetermined deaths, a man must fight the system that dictates when people’s time is up.