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Set up by her serial killer nemesis, an alcoholic detective comes under suspicion and must fight to remain in control of her investigation, her sanity and her freedom.
Good advise by DPG. I'll add that you'd be better off describing the inciting incident in a more immediate, if not dramatic, way - After she is framed for a murder by her serial killer nemesis... The next step would be for you to come up with an original course of action for the cop. Cop's being fraRead more
Good advise by DPG.
I’ll add that you’d be better off describing the inciting incident in a more immediate, if not dramatic, way – After she is framed for a murder by her serial killer nemesis…
The next step would be for you to come up with an original course of action for the cop. Cop’s being framed and needing to clear their name has become a trope, what else can she do that would put a spin on the premise? What if she purposely goes to jail in order to get close to the one that framed her?? Or asks the boss of a Mafia to help her? Whatever it is she does, the action needs to be clear from the logline. “…fight to remain in control…” could mean any number of things, it would be far better to specify what it is she actually needs to do, and make it original.
See lessWhen he learns his mom has only months to live, a self-absorbed, corporate executive must find his estranged siblings to re-create childhood photos so they make a final gift to their mother before she dies.
This sounds like it has the makings for a nice drama, but I could also see it making a nice comedy - depends on how you choose to swing it.I think best to define the inciting incident in more concrete terms - After his mother is given a month to live...It is a relatively low stakes premise. If theyRead more
This sounds like it has the makings for a nice drama, but I could also see it making a nice comedy – depends on how you choose to swing it.
I think best to define the inciting incident in more concrete terms – After his mother is given a month to live…
It is a relatively low stakes premise. If they fail the mother dies with no visual reference of their childhood, if they succeed she sees some photos – she is no better or worst off either way.
What if, as a result of her condition,? she lost all her memory of their childhood? Now, instead of showing her something she’s already seen, the siblings have a month to give her back her memory’s of their times together.
See lessWhen a soldier is killed battling space aliens only to be resurrected to fight the same battle again, he must fight and die every day until he learns how to defeat the aliens.
It's a good parallel to the Ground Hog-Day scenario. I think the inciting incident is when he is resurrected, perhaps there's no need to mention "...when killed...": After a soldier is resurrected, he is forced to re live the day he died in order to learn how to defeat the Alien's they're fighting aRead more
It’s a good parallel to the Ground Hog-Day scenario.
I think the inciting incident is when he is resurrected, perhaps there’s no need to mention “…when killed…”:
After a soldier is resurrected, he is forced to re live the day he died in order to learn how to defeat the Alien’s they’re fighting and stop the war.
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