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Healing from the car accident that killed her husband, the young author purchases a mysterious antique mirror and falls in love with the handsome reflection who tells her fascinating stories of daring and adventure and betrayal.
What DPG said. How about: After falling in love with a mysterious reflection of a handsome man in an ancient mirror she found, a widow must work with a wizard to free her new love from a mirror world entrapment. Just an example of how to include the death of her former husband, an inciting incidentRead more
What DPG said.
How about:
After falling in love with a mysterious reflection of a handsome man in an ancient mirror she found, a widow must work with a wizard to free her new love from a mirror world entrapment.
Just an example of how to include the death of her former husband, an inciting incident and goal.
See lessWhen a witch who is also a medical doctor is left with three days to raise his daughter from the dead, he enlists the help of an ameteur witch who has three days to save her mother from a deadly disease.
This seems to be an interesting mix of genres; Drama and super-natural - I'm interested. However, I don't think the story elements are sitting well together, not yet anyhow. The daughter's death is a good inciting incident, the goal is clear - bring her back. Here's the big 'but', BUT what else is aRead more
This seems to be an interesting mix of genres; Drama and super-natural – I’m interested.
However, I don’t think the story elements are sitting well together, not yet anyhow. The daughter’s death is a good inciting incident, the goal is clear – bring her back. Here’s the big ‘but’, BUT what else is at stake? Yes, the death of a child is painful, but it does happen. However, if she was killed by a malicious force and resurrecting her will help find a way to stop said force, the stakes are greater and the motivation just.
There is also no need to mention the ally amateur witch in the logline, that can be delegated to the synopsis or step out line.
See lessSet against the backdrop of the social and political upheaval of the late 1800s in Europe, Mary is an unconventional and annoyingly intelligent woman struggling to alter the destiny and education of her gender – and still find love.
Agreed with Richieve and DPG, however, I don't think you need a 'based on a true story' element - it can work just as well as an entirely fictional story, if well told of course... you describe two goals: "...struggling to alter the destiny and education of her gender..." and "...find love." which eRead more
Agreed with Richieve and DPG, however, I don’t think you need a ‘based on a true story’ element – it can work just as well as an entirely fictional story, if well told of course…
you describe two goals: “…struggling to alter the destiny and education of her gender…” and “…find love.” which ever one of these has the great stakes for the main character, should be the only one mentioned in the logline. Loglines are best structured around single goals.
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