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A series of interconnected stories about citizens adjusting to the new normal after an earthquake that destroyed 1500 hundred buildings and killed 185 people in Christchurch, New Zealand.
It would be hard to sell a concept about "...a series of interconnected stories...", unless you've got private financing I suggest you take that out of the logline. As Richiev and DPG wrote above, best to structure a story around a single main character and their goal. Is there one particular storyRead more
It would be hard to sell a concept about “…a series of interconnected stories…”, unless you’ve got private financing I suggest you take that out of the logline. As Richiev and DPG wrote above, best to structure a story around a single main character and their goal.
See lessIs there one particular story of the 1500 that stands out to you? Perhaps consider this as your main story.
Best to tell a powerful story of one person as a metaphor for many, as appose to lots of small stories that would repeat the same theme.
After her dad dies of a heart attack, a depressed girl struggles with drug addiction, threatening her chances for graduation while her mother battles alcoholism.
Agreed with DPG.I'll add that a story needs to be framed within a finite amount of time and set sequence of events - start, middle and end. In other words, describe an inciting incident, obstacle and goal. Her father dying could constitute and inciting incident, but it then lacks a causal connectionRead more
Agreed with DPG.
I’ll add that a story needs to be framed within a finite amount of time and set sequence of events – start, middle and end. In other words, describe an inciting incident, obstacle and goal. Her father dying could constitute and inciting incident, but it then lacks a causal connection to her goal to graduate. I suggest re-thinking this concept with a causally connected event and goal, for example: If her father dies of a rare form of cancer her goal could be to get into medical school and find a cure for it.
See lessAfter she covers up a murder, an ambitious cop must escape the clutches of the disturbed young man that blackmails her.
Even if she didn't commit the murder, her covering it up is just as bad - empathy will be a problem. I think the story really starts when the man blackmails her - it reads like the inciting incident. If you want to keep her an anti-hero (you're a braver writer than I...), find a away to give her a nRead more
Even if she didn’t commit the murder, her covering it up is just as bad – empathy will be a problem.
I think the story really starts when the man blackmails her – it reads like the inciting incident. If you want to keep her an anti-hero (you’re a braver writer than I…), find a away to give her a noble motivation for doing the cover up, and then change the order around so it reads as if the blackmail is the inciting incident. Obviously give her a clear goal, now that she is being blackmailed what MUST she do in order to rectify the situation?
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