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A lover of all things meat and with selective eating disorder and a christian meets a girl who is a punk rock vegan and an atheist but a pretty punk rocker. She always pressures him to eat veggie burgers and she falls in love with his punk rock friend who everyone thinks is right for her.
Agreed with the above. I had to read it a few times just to get my head around what happens and to whom. Best to re think this concept with one main character and one goal.
Agreed with the above.
I had to read it a few times just to get my head around what happens and to whom.
Best to re think this concept with one main character and one goal.
See lessIn a dust chocked world where the rich live in air ships and the poor in muck a dethroned princess and desperate criminal must join forces to stop a megalomaniac from seizing absolute control.
The last draft of the logline lacks an inciting incident and a detailed description of the goal. Why must the princes and criminal take action now? What event sets them on their path? Secondly the wording indicates a dual protagonist plot. If so, is there a specific reason for that? It's strongly reRead more
The last draft of the logline lacks an inciting incident and a detailed description of the goal.
Why must the princes and criminal take action now? What event sets them on their path?
Secondly the wording indicates a dual protagonist plot. If so, is there a specific reason for that?
It’s strongly recommended to stay away from multi protagonist plots, so?unless it’s a necessity for the story it may be better to make it about the princes or criminal instead of both.
If only one of them is the main character then best to change the wording, for example:
…a dethroned princes with the help of a criminal must? or …a criminal with the help of a dethroned princes must…
This makes one character seem more like an ally than protagonist.
Last thing,?how will they avenge their families and know that the tyranny is over? Kill the overlords, banish the overlords into the muck? What is the end game?
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Dkpgou1I believe that you are adjusting?your own logic to fit different arguments without consistency.You wrote about James Bond: "...The villian creates the inciting incident, whatever that may be in the multiple films, and then MI6 sends Bond to stop them. ?Bond?s goal drives the story?"But also wRead more
Dkpgou1
I believe that you are adjusting?your own logic to fit different arguments without consistency.
You wrote about James Bond: “…The villian creates the inciting incident, whatever that may be in the multiple films, and then MI6 sends Bond to stop them. ?Bond?s goal drives the story?”
But also wrote about The Terminator: “…?Skynet trying to kill her is the goal which causes the conflict, Kyle Reese protecting Sarah?”
You’re simply choosing to define The Terminator’s objective as the protagonist’s goal instead of Sarah’s objective as the goal. I believe your statement of: “…The inciting incident of ?The Terminator? happens offscreen?” exposes something.
The inciting incident (which can be different to the call to adventure) needs?to happen on screen, and indeed in most good films it does. The fact that some related events took place off screen or in the relative past, doesn’t mean they are the inciting incident of the plot at hand. Using your logic we could define the inciting incident of Star Wars: A New Hope as being Luke’s mother dying, which in turn was the last event?that made Anakin?Skywalker turn to the dark side and made Ben need to hide Luke and Leia. With this kind of thinking it really only depends on how far back into the cannon of any franchise, or backstory of any single film, you want to go – but again it simply is not true.
This is all coming down to semantics – you, for what ever reason, ?chose to define for yourself The Terminator as the protagonist.?
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