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A woman cop uncovers scary evidence of an old murder and battles long-imbedded terrors to catch the serial killer before she becomes the next victim.
As Dkpough1 said the generic descriptions dilute the impact of the concept, best to be specific in your logline so as to set it apart from the rest in it's genre. That said, what is it about this "cop turned victim" story that would make it interesting or different to many other similar stories? HowRead more
As Dkpough1 said the generic descriptions dilute the impact of the concept, best to be specific in your logline so as to set it apart from the rest in it’s genre.
That said, what is it about this “cop turned victim” story that would make it interesting or different to many other similar stories? How will the stakes be personal or higher for this cop than others to make it a more compelling story?
See lessA brilliant software designer, who is the estranged son of a female-led mafia family, returns to his violent roots to find the true reason why women are dying while using his newest program.
What does "...returns to his violent roots?" mean? It sounds like his inciting incident could be the first death as a result of his program, so write the logline in such a way that it reflects this. Other wise it isn't clear what is the out of the ordinary event that changes his world i.e inciting iRead more
What does “…returns to his violent roots?” mean?
It sounds like his inciting incident could be the first death as a result of his program, so write the logline in such a way that it reflects this. Other wise it isn’t clear what is the out of the ordinary event that changes his world i.e inciting incident.
It looks as if you are implying that his goal is to figure out why woman are dying, but what happens after that? Surely his goal will be to prevent further deaths instead of just finding out why they are dying, best to just specify that as his goal.
The whole female led mafia family back story seems entirely redundant in the logline, despite any potential connections it may have to the women’s deaths.
See lessWhen a pawn store robbery turns deadly, a Hollywood stunt driver finds himself in possession of the loot, and must destroy the violent goons who want it back. [Drive, 2011]
His being a getaway driver is important to the logline as it makes clear the fact that he is a criminal in the begining and needs to fight his way out of the crime world by the end. In other words his story of redemption, to stop working in crime, is what makes this an interesting story. After his aRead more
His being a getaway driver is important to the logline as it makes clear the fact that he is a criminal in the begining and needs to fight his way out of the crime world by the end. In other words his story of redemption, to stop working in crime, is what makes this an interesting story.
After his accomplice is killed on a job, a getaway driver must go on the run??with the loot and kill the assailants if he is to stop his life of crime.
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