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When down-to-earth Nadya parts ways with her frivolous sister, following their mother's death, she resigns herself to a life of toil and loneliness. So when love comes to her unexpectedly, even amidst the chaos of the Russian revolution, she takes hold of it with both hands. But can her newfound romance survive his lingering infatuation with a long-lost beauty destined to resurface?
The Russian Revolution has played a good back drop for many stories I personally find this very interesting. It adds a secondary layer to the love story as tension can vary as a result of the imminent chaos or the lovers relationship. Tolstoy would be proud... The logline however could benefit fromRead more
The Russian Revolution has played a good back drop for many stories I personally find this very interesting. It adds a secondary layer to the love story as tension can vary as a result of the imminent chaos or the lovers relationship.
Tolstoy would be proud…
The logline however could benefit from more clarity. Looking at the opening:
“When down-to-earth Nadya parts ways with her frivolous sister, following their mother’s death, she resigns herself to a life of toil and loneliness.”
Not sure this needs to be in the logline. It seams like there is a potential for the mother’s death to be the inciting incident but then her falling in love takes that roll.
If the A plot is a love story then falling in love becomes the inciting incident and as love stories go they need something to keep the lovers apart and make the MC fight to keep them together. In the logline at the moment she has another woman keeping them apart but as DPG mentioned this kind of makes her the husbands puppet.
Why not exploit the great backdrop of social unrest and wide spread violence make the Russian Revolution keep them apart. This way she has to fight an entire nation to stay with her lover. She becomes a strong active protagonist with a powerfully compelling need that the audience will want to see her achieve.
You can even draw on this for an antagonist a crazed general that’s fallen for her or is after the husband/lover.
Then the logline ending can be cleaned up to reflect her action. I normally find logline benefit from ending in a statement rather than a question. Simply because they need to provide information that provokes questions in the readers mind making them want to know more. This is instead of ask the reader questions and expect them to think of an answer.
Hope this helps.
See lessWhen down-to-earth Nadya parts ways with her frivolous sister, following their mother's death, she resigns herself to a life of toil and loneliness. So when love comes to her unexpectedly, even amidst the chaos of the Russian revolution, she takes hold of it with both hands. But can her newfound romance survive his lingering infatuation with a long-lost beauty destined to resurface?
The Russian Revolution has played a good back drop for many stories I personally find this very interesting. It adds a secondary layer to the love story as tension can vary as a result of the imminent chaos or the lovers relationship. Tolstoy would be proud... The logline however could benefit fromRead more
The Russian Revolution has played a good back drop for many stories I personally find this very interesting. It adds a secondary layer to the love story as tension can vary as a result of the imminent chaos or the lovers relationship.
Tolstoy would be proud…
The logline however could benefit from more clarity. Looking at the opening:
“When down-to-earth Nadya parts ways with her frivolous sister, following their mother’s death, she resigns herself to a life of toil and loneliness.”
Not sure this needs to be in the logline. It seams like there is a potential for the mother’s death to be the inciting incident but then her falling in love takes that roll.
If the A plot is a love story then falling in love becomes the inciting incident and as love stories go they need something to keep the lovers apart and make the MC fight to keep them together. In the logline at the moment she has another woman keeping them apart but as DPG mentioned this kind of makes her the husbands puppet.
Why not exploit the great backdrop of social unrest and wide spread violence make the Russian Revolution keep them apart. This way she has to fight an entire nation to stay with her lover. She becomes a strong active protagonist with a powerfully compelling need that the audience will want to see her achieve.
You can even draw on this for an antagonist a crazed general that’s fallen for her or is after the husband/lover.
Then the logline ending can be cleaned up to reflect her action. I normally find logline benefit from ending in a statement rather than a question. Simply because they need to provide information that provokes questions in the readers mind making them want to know more. This is instead of ask the reader questions and expect them to think of an answer.
Hope this helps.
See lessIn the final moments before facing the firing squad, the charismatic leader of a murderous robbery gang makes one last request: to have her confession heard by the priest who was once her lover.
Kdfilmworks. Your welcome to post your concepts and ask for feedback then take away what you will from the responding members. It is not however your prerogative to tell anyone "...what's what." if you choose to acknowledge only feedback that aligns with your personal opinions then do so. However, aRead more
Kdfilmworks.
Your welcome to post your concepts and ask for feedback then take away what you will from the responding members.
It is not however your prerogative to tell anyone “…what’s what.” if you choose to acknowledge only feedback that aligns with your personal opinions then do so.
However, also show due respect to ALL those that took the time to respond to you.
We all want to learn and help each other and I would hate for people to not post feedback due to fear of being described as “…irritating…” for not providing the correct kind of feedback the writer wanted.
This is an open and friendly forum that benefits from the variety of opinions provided. That is what makes this such a good resource for writers so best to keep it that way.
Your friend, Nir.
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