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Driven by the impoverishment surrounding his family and community, a timid young man attempts to take back the land stolen from his ancestors. Based on a true story of [US State/Country] infamy. (Title: Trespass Against Those)
Agreed with DPG, the specifics of the story will help the reader picture it in their mind. Instead of saying that he's driven by impoverishment, I'de describe one particular event, which exemplifies the impoverishment, that motivated him to take action. Otherwise, the story has no specific startingRead more
Agreed with DPG, the specifics of the story will help the reader picture it in their mind.
Instead of saying that he’s driven by impoverishment, I’de describe one particular event, which exemplifies the impoverishment, that motivated him to take action. Otherwise, the story has no specific starting point.
See lessAfter building a machine that can see the future, a young inventor and his friend use it to get rich, only to run afoul of gangsters.
Agreed with Adam and DPG. Why not have the gangster take the future seeing machine and use it to get an edge? This gives the bad guy an advantage and levels out the playing field. It would also be really cool if you establish that each time a different person uses the future seeing machine the futurRead more
Agreed with Adam and DPG.
Why not have the gangster take the future seeing machine and use it to get an edge? This gives the bad guy an advantage and levels out the playing field.
See lessIt would also be really cool if you establish that each time a different person uses the future seeing machine the future is slightly different as the person will act differently according to what they see. Adds to the theme that we’re all in charge of our own future…
When the boy she meets turns out to be a werewolf like her, a sheltered girl begins a forbidden relationship with that helps express their beastly forms but runs the risk of being discovered by the paranoid hicks of her small town.
Agreed with Richiev. Good love stories have strong forces keeping the lovers apart, so what makes their forbidden?
Agreed with Richiev.
Good love stories have strong forces keeping the lovers apart, so what makes their forbidden?
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