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When her amnesiac daughter awakens next to a headless, burnt corpse in the woods, a bipolar detective must uncover the secrets of a small town and its paranormal history, to find out the truth and prove her daughter?s innocence.
I like it, this really sounds interesting. Well done! I would shorten the logline and add a bit of tension between the daughter and mother (why not...): After her estranged daughter wakes up beside a headless corpse, a bipolar detective must uncover the paranormal secrets of a small town to prove heRead more
I like it, this really sounds interesting.
Well done!
I would shorten the logline and add a bit of tension between the daughter and mother (why not…):
After her estranged daughter wakes up beside a headless corpse, a bipolar detective must uncover the paranormal secrets of a small town to prove her daughter?s innocence.
The sizzle (I’m looking at you DPG…) here is her daughter being in trouble with paranormal stuff, therefore, best you cut anything that isn’t necessary to describe that. As far as the plot goes, finding out the truth is implicit in her primary goal – to prove the daughter innocent, so you don’t need it in the logline.
All the best developing this concept.
See lessHaunted by his past, a careworn man fights against starvation and a hostile environment to find a new home for a little girl and himself in a post apocalyptic world, which not only questions his purpose in life, but if hope alone can keep you and the ?Mensch? inside you alive.
The logline lacks the necessary fundamental elements for a plot - inciting incident and goal. Check out the 'Formula' tab on the top bar for more information on what a logline needs. The man is the MC but what specific event sets him off on his journey? This needs to be an out of the ordinary eventRead more
The logline lacks the necessary fundamental elements for a plot – inciting incident and goal.
Check out the ‘Formula’ tab on the top bar for more information on what a logline needs.
The man is the MC but what specific event sets him off on his journey? This needs to be an out of the ordinary event so what caused him to need to find a new home?
See lessWhat specifically does he need to achieve by the end of it? Hint, it can’t be ‘to survive’ as survival is an ongoing activity not to mention a rather generic one at that. It needs to be one specific visual objective that has meaning in the context of the story.
When an illegal immigrant kills and robs her sister, a misunderstood witch must stop the culprit before she escapes back to her own land.
Never heard of it, any good?
Never heard of it, any good?
See less