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When people die when they touch the doctor he must defeat death, who chose him as his successor, to return to normality.
The second version works better, but still lacks detail. What does defeat mean in this context? Defeat at what? Bill and Ted defeated Death in a game of Twister... How will your character achieve his goal?
The second version works better, but still lacks detail.
What does defeat mean in this context? Defeat at what? Bill and Ted defeated Death in a game of Twister…
How will your character achieve his goal?
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The order and structure of this logline hinder its clarity. Her discovering the power that sustains life isn't an inciting incident nor is her discovering that it depends on her own life. What happened that made her need to fight for her life? Whatever it is, it sounds like the event that motivatesRead more
The order and structure of this logline hinder its clarity.
Her discovering the power that sustains life isn’t an inciting incident nor is her discovering that it depends on her own life. What happened that made her need to fight for her life? Whatever it is, it sounds like the event that motivates her the most, in other words, her inciting incident. You need to start the logline with this event and then describe her and her actions. “…fight for her life…” is not specific enough for an action. How will she fight for her life? Will she have to defeat the superhuman in a fist fight, a gun fight, a legal fight…? What is the mechanism of the story that will carry the plot in act 2?
“…a vengeful superhuman…” is too vague. What is it about this particular individual that makes him or her stand out as an antagonist?
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It sounds like the inciting incident is him being cursed. Best you rewrite the logline starting with this event and then explain what he/it does as a response.
It sounds like the inciting incident is him being cursed. Best you rewrite the logline starting with this event and then explain what he/it does as a response.
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