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  1. Posted: April 30, 2015In: Public

    A young woman struggles to survive when a creature from Guaran? legend is unleashed on a rural Louisiana town.

    NewGrimmCity
    Added an answer on April 30, 2015 at 5:45 am

    I'm still working on it, but here is where I am with it right now. When a fiery young novelist visits a rural Louisiana town, she quickly finds herself fighting for survival when a monster, straight out of South American folklore, escapes the paramilitary group commissioned to study it.

    I’m still working on it, but here is where I am with it right now.

    When a fiery young novelist visits a rural Louisiana town, she quickly finds herself fighting for survival when a monster, straight out of South American folklore, escapes the paramilitary group commissioned to study it.

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  2. Posted: April 30, 2015In: Student Loglines

    After training as a knight, a young man embarks on a quest to rescue his family from an invading army. However, when his kingdom is on the brink of collapse, he must choose between his own personal goals and those of his new Order's.

    NewGrimmCity
    Added an answer on April 30, 2015 at 3:11 am

    I would recommend trying to pare this down to a single sentence. It looks like there is plenty to trim. Also, you might try punching it up with a few specifics.

    I would recommend trying to pare this down to a single sentence. It looks like there is plenty to trim.

    Also, you might try punching it up with a few specifics.

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  3. Posted: October 17, 2013In: Public

    When a bumbling businessman's necktie is used to strangle the hostess of a lavish party, he must retrieve his tie before he is implicated in the murder. Unfortunately, both the body and the necktie are missing.

    NewGrimmCity
    Added an answer on October 18, 2013 at 6:42 pm

    Blundering, awkward, and clumsy are all adjectives that describe the protagonist. What is it about the loglime that makes you think that bumbling isn't appropriate? Is it that I'm not dealing with him changing from bumbling to something else, or is there another reason? If I don't utilize one of theRead more

    Blundering, awkward, and clumsy are all adjectives that describe the protagonist.

    What is it about the loglime that makes you think that bumbling isn’t appropriate? Is it that I’m not dealing with him changing from bumbling to something else, or is there another reason?

    If I don’t utilize one of the adjectives listed above, what would you suggest?

    I use the adjective bumbling to help indicate that the script is meant as a comedy (or, at least, that it isn’t meant to be taken entirely seriously). If I change it, how else can I indicate that in the logline?

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