I want to actually encourage you! I feel like you might be on to something, but I think right now you have what is the seed of an idea.

To me, the logline reads something like “After a mysterious late-night accident, a nurse wakes up in the hospital…” and then you fill in the rest. It sounds like from what you’ve written so far (because keep in mind that I haven’t read your script) that the inciting incident or call to adventure, is this accident. In other words, that’s the event that sets the rest of her story in motion. But now you have to figure out what the actual story is.

As far as that goes, Richiev and Vexmeister gave some really good feedback as far as what you need to explore to really flesh out your story.

What does she want and who or what is standing in her way of getting it? And then just when you think she’s about to reach her goal…BOOM, another obstacle gets introduced that she has to overcome.

It’s a good idea also to explore what is at stake? What does she have to gain if she achieves her goal or what are the consequences of failure? Make them big – so much so that failure is not an option for her.

Also, here’s some questions to get your mind racing with ideas: is this a movie like the Bourne Identity where Sarah has amnesia and she has no idea where she is? Is this like a horror film where she’s taken to a hospital where the staff conduct experiments on the patients? Does she have to care for a patient but suddenly forgets to do her job and can’t let the other staff find out because she doesn’t want to risk being fired because she needs the money (hence the second job), and you know, maybe she’s had a drug addiction problem that the staff is aware of and so she was already on thin ice?

These are just some random questions that hopefully will help prompt your imagination. (You don’t have to use them if you don’t want to, but hopefully it will get you on the right track.)

I hope that helps! 🙂