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Logline: A hardened cyber crimes analyst must shut down the source of a cursed smartphone app that seems to kill people who use it before the app strikes its next targets, her estranged family.
I like the premise. It reminds me of the Ring. Just needs a little polish. When you have “ that seems to” take that out. In my opinion apps can be used on many devices so “smartphone” may be remove. I feel you run into more conflict that way which makes the story mor interesting. Keep up the hard woRead more
I like the premise. It reminds me of the Ring. Just needs a little polish. When you have “ that seems to” take that out. In my opinion apps can be used on many devices so “smartphone” may be remove. I feel you run into more conflict that way which makes the story mor interesting. Keep up the hard work.
See lessFood is scarce, tragedies are many but the fight against human extinction becomes an arduous mission for mans earliest pioneers.
It’s too vague. It sounds interesting. I get its post apocalyptic, but it’s missing a few elements. who is your main protagonist? Is he/she a scientist or a survivalists that no one took seriously? This will be the main character that the audience will cheering for. What is the antagonist force thatRead more
It’s too vague. It sounds interesting. I get its post apocalyptic, but it’s missing a few elements. who is your main protagonist? Is he/she a scientist or a survivalists that no one took seriously? This will be the main character that the audience will cheering for. What is the antagonist force that will prevent him/her from accomplishing their mission. Is it a specific person or organization? Is it responsible for the near human extinction? In addition, what is their ultimate goal? The main mission. Getting to know who the character is, what their fighting against, and the goal will give a clearer picture to your story.
See lessA young latina with basic english and a desire to experience independece must keep her horrible job in a American Resort and generate extra income to keep her word to return the huge invesment of trip to her parents when the season is low.
After reading the Logline it’s not completely clear. it’s missing conflict, antagonist force and the protagonist goal. Ask yourself this. What is the one thing that will drastically change the protagonist life? What is stopping her? The ultimate goal? It has to be more than day to day life. It has tRead more
After reading the Logline it’s not completely clear. it’s missing conflict, antagonist force and the protagonist goal. Ask yourself this. What is the one thing that will drastically change the protagonist life? What is stopping her? The ultimate goal? It has to be more than day to day life. It has to grab the reader and the audience attention. It’s a comedy so this is great time to get creative. I mean does she have to stay at her horrible job? Is there a love interest that is keeping her there, or maybe planning revenge on the management. Keep thinking about the possibilities.
See lessKeep it up.