1. Posted: April 2, 2020In:

    When his former lover is killed, an immortal cowboy rises from the dead teams up with a teenage girl to kill those are responsible.

    Ninann22 Logliner

    This reminds me of Drive Angry and Deadpool. I would try to elevate the concept. I would remove rises from the dead. He is immortal why would he be dead? The character would need a flaw, so I would rethink the immortal description. If something or someone threatened his immortality that would help.Read more

    This reminds me of Drive Angry and Deadpool. I would try to elevate the concept. I would remove rises from the dead. He is immortal why would he be dead? The character would need a flaw, so I would rethink the immortal description. If something or someone threatened his immortality that would help.
    Play with the concept a little bit and that will help with the logline. Here is an example, not perfect but a starting point.

    An immortal cowboy teams up with a sharp shooting teenager to kill a ruthless crime gang responsible for his lover?s death.

    I hope this helps. Happy writing.

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  2. Posted: April 2, 2020In:

    After a childhood of abuse, a young woman decides to write a memoir to help her heal.

    Ninann22 Logliner

    I like the idea, but it?s missing the high stakes and goal. In every day life someone would write a memoir, or go to therapy. The high stakes will force the protagonist into action. Ask yourself what happens if she doesn?t write a memoir? What is so terrible that she has no choice? I hope this helpsRead more

    I like the idea, but it?s missing the high stakes and goal. In every day life someone would write a memoir, or go to therapy. The high stakes will force the protagonist into action. Ask yourself what happens if she doesn?t write a memoir? What is so terrible that she has no choice?
    I hope this helps. Happy writing.

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  3. Posted: April 1, 2020In:

    After a lawyer accidentally sends a homosexual email to his client who then tries to have him disbarred, the lawyer must convince the authorities, in a politically correct way, that he is straight.

    Ninann22 Logliner

    I think this idea is interesting but I'm a little confused on the concept. It just needs to be clear. Why would his client try to disbar him for being gay? That in turn would be a hate crime. Was the email more of a love letter or pornographic? More importantly why does he have to hide the fact thatRead more

    I think this idea is interesting but I’m a little confused on the concept. It just needs to be clear. Why would his client try to disbar him for being gay? That in turn would be a hate crime. Was the email more of a love letter or pornographic? More importantly why does he have to hide the fact that he is gay? Since your going for a comedy there are a lot of ways to make it more interesting. Remember adding irony and opposites attract helps.

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