1. Posted: March 29, 2020In:

    After a shy teen falls in love with an unknown girl he dreams of every night, he sleeps all day to be with her, but ultimately he has to overcome his shyness in order to find a real girlfriend.

    OlDustyDogg Logliner

    Or what? What are the stakes if he doesn't get a real GF? Why does he need/want a real GF, what happens if he doesn't get a GF? Does he learn the dream is just his ideal? That he can't actually love the woman in his dreams because she's not real? Or does she become real? I'm confused what this movieRead more

    Or what? What are the stakes if he doesn’t get a real GF? Why does he need/want a real GF, what happens if he doesn’t get a GF? Does he learn the dream is just his ideal? That he can’t actually love the woman in his dreams because she’s not real? Or does she become real? I’m confused what this movie is about.

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  2. Posted: March 28, 2020In:

    When he learns the one that got away is getting, a man sets about winning her back, with the help of the fiance’s ex, only to fall for her as well.

    OlDustyDogg Logliner

    What sets this apart from all the other plots that can be described by a similar or identical logline? What's this guy like? Why so hung up on the girl? And if he falls for the other girl doesn't that solve the issue? Leave the girl getting married alone. Wouldn't it be better tension if the girl heRead more

    What sets this apart from all the other plots that can be described by a similar or identical logline?
    What’s this guy like? Why so hung up on the girl? And if he falls for the other girl doesn’t that solve the issue? Leave the girl getting married alone. Wouldn’t it be better tension if the girl helping him was also secretly in love with him? Only when all is lost does he realise he found someone he can love… Maybe your story is good but there’s no hook that makes the logline sing with unique intrigued.

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  3. Posted: March 15, 2020In:

    Private: A daughter of a man whom she was build by becomes a cyborg befriending teams up with a group of other young women to stop robots from invading Earth.

    Best Answer
    OlDustyDogg Logliner

    The daughter of the man who built her becomes a cyborg is a bit redundant. What is the significance of that relationship to the story? Wouldn't whoever built her be considered her father? It's confusing. This isn't perfect but this is what I get from it. A cyborg girl teams up with other young womanRead more

    The daughter of the man who built her becomes a cyborg is a bit redundant. What is the significance of that relationship to the story? Wouldn’t whoever built her be considered her father? It’s confusing. This isn’t perfect but this is what I get from it.

    A cyborg girl teams up with other young woman to stop robots from invading earth.

    I hope this helps.

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