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A nostalgic adventurer returns to Greece to avoid the sale of his grand parents house in a week, but faces his coquettish parents who reject his lifestyle and blackmail him with the house, and his sandbox love as a badass broker who needs every cent during the financial crisis.
I agree with Nir. I thought it was fine up until the "sandbox lover", after that I just found myself confused. I also think there would be a more succinct way to spell out the opening without having to mention the house twice. I also don't think "Nostalgic" is a good character trait to use. Is it thRead more
I agree with Nir.
I thought it was fine up until the “sandbox lover”, after that I just found myself confused.
I also think there would be a more succinct way to spell out the opening without having to mention the house twice.
I also don’t think “Nostalgic” is a good character trait to use. Is it this nostalgia that causes him to want the house to remain in the family? I think it would make more sense if the house was in some way special. That would lead to a more interesting logline. Why does an adventurer need a house anyway?
Without knowing the true nature of the story I would go with something more like:
See less– After losing everything in the financial crisis, a rugged adventurer returns to Greece to prevent his greedy parents from selling his beloved Grandparent’s home.
A lazy but gifted high-school kid blackmails his adulterous parents and uses the money to start his own business, in an attempt to woo the girl of his dreams.
Thanks Craig. Evil Ferris Bueller, I never thought of it like that but it's perfect. Although Ferris was pretty evil in his own right. Definitely a comedy (or at least dramedy). I think his growth is to stop being lazy, but that's hard to include outside of saying he is lazy. I will try to reword itRead more
Thanks Craig. Evil Ferris Bueller, I never thought of it like that but it’s perfect. Although Ferris was pretty evil in his own right.
Definitely a comedy (or at least dramedy). I think his growth is to stop being lazy, but that’s hard to include outside of saying he is lazy. I will try to reword it maybe.
See lessA lazy but gifted high-school kid blackmails his adulterous parents and uses the money to start his own business, in an attempt to woo the girl of his dreams.
Thanks Craig. Evil Ferris Bueller, I never thought of it like that but it's perfect. Although Ferris was pretty evil in his own right. Definitely a comedy (or at least dramedy). I think his growth is to stop being lazy, but that's hard to include outside of saying he is lazy. I will try to reword itRead more
Thanks Craig. Evil Ferris Bueller, I never thought of it like that but it’s perfect. Although Ferris was pretty evil in his own right.
Definitely a comedy (or at least dramedy). I think his growth is to stop being lazy, but that’s hard to include outside of saying he is lazy. I will try to reword it maybe.
See less