Have an account? Sign In Now
Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email.
Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.
In a distant future China has assumed control of most of the world by capitalizing on our sun disappearing. However, A young scientist discovers that the sun problem can be solved, thus initiating another World War.
The fudging of the science does make it a bit hard to grasp for me but there is promise here I feel. You mentioned in a post the sun explodes? Maybe it should implode to avoid vapourizing at least half of the solar system? Could you word it something like..." China holds the world hostage by monopolRead more
The fudging of the science does make it a bit hard to grasp for me but there is promise here I feel. You mentioned in a post the sun explodes? Maybe it should implode to avoid vapourizing at least half of the solar system? Could you word it something like…” China holds the world hostage by monopolizing a technology that protects the earth from a dying sun. Only one young and naive Australian scientist knows the secret but he must battle a Chinese assassin to get the secret into the right hands” My version is wordy and not spot on but maybe you get the gyst of what I’m trying to say. Good luck and good start! 🙂
See lessTwo teens from rival families fall in love… it doesn't go well.
I agree with brooke. It comes close to Snyder's example of the logline "She was the perfect date... until she had a drink" in that it makes you imagine a whole lot that could go on which is great. Maybe it just needs a little context, i.e. what area are the families rivals in? Are they bikies? MafiaRead more
I agree with brooke. It comes close to Snyder’s example of the logline “She was the perfect date… until she had a drink” in that it makes you imagine a whole lot that could go on which is great. Maybe it just needs a little context, i.e. what area are the families rivals in? Are they bikies? Mafia? Keeping up with the Jones’ type neighbors? Just a little more information would make a big difference. The mention of a twist of some kind on the old Romeo and Juliet plot might help too. Good start.
See less14 year old Glitch, and Komako, the talking deer, must travel through a maze of unnerving, yet beautiful, interconnecting television worlds, in search of the one that resides in the human land, so Glitch can return home.
This sounds like a story with promise and I like Filmstar's comment but the one thing that pulled me up was "television worlds" and "human land". Upon reading it I feel a bit... ungrounded?... as to where I am and where the characters are from. If they are wandering around 'television worlds' that aRead more
This sounds like a story with promise and I like Filmstar’s comment but the one thing that pulled me up was “television worlds” and “human land”. Upon reading it I feel a bit… ungrounded?… as to where I am and where the characters are from. If they are wandering around ‘television worlds’ that are NOT in ‘human land’ are these tv programs that were produced by aliens and watched on different planets? Are they ‘television worlds’ inhabited only by deer and other animals? Does that mean animals are watching those programs and making them? I’m confused. I guess context is missing for me. A mentor showing a lost hero through the background worlds of tv shows and movies in search of his own though sounds very intriguing. Novel idea! 🙂
See less