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A young man?s life begins to unravel when he receives? a mysterious text from his dead girlfriend?s cell phone.
Yup. It's a good setup and after "must" is the real story or bulk of the story. Two examples popped into mind: ...a high school quarterback must secretly investigate his own friends to find her killer. ...a college dropout must battle increasing horror and analyze the relationship to determine why sRead more
Yup. It’s a good setup and after “must” is the real story or bulk of the story. Two examples popped into mind:
…a high school quarterback must secretly investigate his own friends to find her killer.
…a college dropout must battle increasing horror and analyze the relationship to determine why she’s haunting him.
See lessAfter getting injected with a rage serum, the injected man must use his new found abilities to stop a rich vengeful businessman from flooding the streets with his serum to destroy the city.
>> I?m kinda riding this one close to the vest. It?s still in writing mode, The point of a logline for craft is to tell the story in brief and to test its appeal before spending months on the script (with beat sheets or outlines and whatnot in between). The protag needs more of a description tRead more
>> I?m kinda riding this one close to the vest. It?s still in writing mode,
The point of a logline for craft is to tell the story in brief and to test its appeal before spending months on the script (with beat sheets or outlines and whatnot in between).
The protag needs more of a description than “man.” The rage part would be the same with anybody so what makes him ironic or special in this predicament? What is it about this one rage guy that makes us think he has a little hope in stopping the villain?? Why is he needed at all, why can’t the police deal with such a bad guy?
After getting injected, is he enraged the entire time? If yes, would that get tiring? Is part of his conflict trying to act clearly while enraged, the inner battle of human vs animal?
See lessUpon watching a man taking another one hostage in broad daylight, an event planner on a job interview decides to prove his skills by turning the situation into a beautiful celebration.
If this is a dark comedy or satirical, consider something harsher than a hostage taking or state what makes this hostage situation a bigger deal than average.If it's not a story where we root for the planner but enjoy his misguided approach, then again, is a hostage scenario meaty and dramatic enougRead more
If this is a dark comedy or satirical, consider something harsher than a hostage taking or state what makes this hostage situation a bigger deal than average.
If it’s not a story where we root for the planner but enjoy his misguided approach, then again, is a hostage scenario meaty and dramatic enough?
How does he make an event out of it when it’s a police situation? Does he setup in the interview office? Why would they allow that? Or does he setup a party tent nearby or take over an empty store? What would something like this actually accomplish? It’s one thing to be misguided in approach, but here it’s hard to see what he hopes to gain at the end. A reader can have fun with a character on the wrong path (due to desperation or ego or such ), but interest drops if the character is also dumb about it. Unless the comedy comes from his stupidity, but that doesn’t seem to be the case.
>> event planner on a job interview
Confusing, since a planner meets potential clients. Is he looking for stable work and then sees an opportunity to do what he really likes?
Would a female lead be better, considering the hostage is a man and assuming the criminal is a man?
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