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A workaholic businesswoman changes lifestyle after her husband dies but when she suspects he faked his death she has to find him before her company does.
Sounds interesting. But I don't get the last line "she has to find him before her company does". Why is her company interested in finding him (first)? Does he have something they want for themselves?
Sounds interesting.
See lessBut I don’t get the last line “she has to find him before her company does”. Why is her company interested in finding him (first)?
Does he have something they want for themselves?
A bitter old man plays an advanced virtual reality game and conquers his fear of technology.
Perhaps you should check out the general formula of loglines to rewrite this after. The inciting incident can be "When an old man?plays an advanced virtual reality game,,," The problem with your logline here is, there is no actual plot and conflict for the second act of the story. What does the oldRead more
Perhaps you should check out the general formula of loglines to rewrite this after.
The inciting incident can be “When an old man?plays an advanced virtual reality game,,,”
The problem with your logline here is, there is no actual plot and conflict for the second act of the story.
What does the old man have to do to conquer his fear of technology?? What are the obstacles?
Just refusing to play the game at first is not a strong enough concept, I think.
And, in addition, what are the stakes for the character?
What is the objective goal he wants to achieve?
Just try to answer these questions and you’ll be on track on? writing a better logline.
Best,
Savas
See lessImpeached president moves back to her hometown in disgrace to pursue a new dream: balancing family life….while grooming her shy and nerdy kids for careers in politics.
I personally think this COULD be an interesting story, but you need to have much more going on in the second act of your plot. Right now, the disgraced president just moves back to his hometown to balance his family life. That's not enough for an interesting concept. What if he tried to prove his inRead more
I personally think this COULD be an interesting story, but you need to have much more going on in the second act of your plot.
See lessRight now, the disgraced president just moves back to his hometown to balance his family life. That’s not enough for an interesting concept.
What if he tried to prove his innocence before he gets impeached or even after the impeachment process.
If you look at current series like “House of Cards” or “Designated Survivor”, there is a great opportunity for writers to mix politics with dramatical elements.
But, as I said, a family life can’t be your whole plot for the second act.