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A woman stands up one man for another because he is nicer, so she thought. She soon discovers he’s a serial killer and her life depends on the first man to send that psycho to hell.
Plenty of conflict here. I like the concept. Just make sure to follow the basic logline formula so you can pack all the information in one sentence.
Plenty of conflict here. I like the concept.
See lessJust make sure to follow the basic logline formula so you can pack all the information in one sentence.
(short film) When a Yemeni family loses their father in a drone strike during war, the youngest child takes over his business to sell all water bottles in order to pay for his badly-injured mothers operation.
Thank you for your comments!What do you think about this version?After his father is killed, a badly-injured Yemeni boy takes over his business to sell all water bottles in one day in order to pay for his mother's life-saving operation.
Thank you for your comments!
What do you think about this version?
After his father is killed, a badly-injured Yemeni boy takes over his business to sell all water bottles in one day in order to pay for his mother’s life-saving operation.
See lessAfter leaving his tiny home village, A lonely man returns many years later to win back his childhood sweetheart only to find out she never existed.
I understand your last sentence "only to find out she never existed" as the beginning of your story, aka plot point I. But as dpg already stated, what is the objective goal of your protagonist after he finds out she never existed. What does he have to do? Right now,? with this version, there is no rRead more
I understand your last sentence “only to find out she never existed” as the beginning of your story, aka plot point I.
But as dpg already stated, what is the objective goal of your protagonist after he finds out she never existed. What does he have to do?
Right now,? with this version, there is no road map and clear intention in what kind of direction your second act is going for.
Does he want to prove that she exists (existed)?
Often, the best solution to this problem is by defining the theme of your story.
Example 1: My story is about delucions that can be so strong that you literally think they are real.
Example 2: My story is about second chances and how everybody should be able to make up for his first failures.
So, what is your story (logline) really, deeply about?
If you know that question (or answer), you have your logline- and, thus, your story.
Hope that helped.
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