1. Posted: June 26, 2015In:

    A stubbornly independent man and his team of professional muggers need to stop a new rival team that doesn?t abide by the rules of mugging etiquette.

    shaankle Penpusher

    To everyone asking, yes, this is a comedy! And thank you for the responses! Much appreciated.

    To everyone asking, yes, this is a comedy! And thank you for the responses! Much appreciated.

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  2. Posted: June 24, 2015In:

    When a depressed office worker learns that his estranged, Chinese mob-boss father has been murdered, he must return home to avenge him!!

    shaankle Penpusher

    There's no need for the exclamation points, and "When" is usually not a great start for loglines. Also, I find myself asking the question "So what?"

    There’s no need for the exclamation points, and “When” is usually not a great start for loglines. Also, I find myself asking the question “So what?”

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  3. Posted: June 26, 2015In:

    When a young lawyer awakens ancient powers that cause her to be hospitalized for a psychotic break, an older woman, in guiding her back to sanity, introduces her to strange realities.

    shaankle Penpusher

    I think you can take out the part where she's hospitalized. That doesn't seem essential in a pitch for this. Also, I learned that one of the general rules for loglines is it must mention the antagonist, and how the antagonist/obstacles are getting in the way of the protagonist's goals.

    I think you can take out the part where she’s hospitalized. That doesn’t seem essential in a pitch for this. Also, I learned that one of the general rules for loglines is it must mention the antagonist, and how the antagonist/obstacles are getting in the way of the protagonist’s goals.

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