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A gifted geneticist perfects the formula for increasing intelligence, but using it on his gorgeous but not so gifted wife he creates a cynical tyrant and his only competition for the Nobel Prize.
What's this "MC" and "II" nonsense? Are we on Twitter? I assume you mean "main character" (protagonist) and "inciting incident". I do not believe the "II" is when the "MC" realizes the wife could get the Noble Prize. It's when he develops and gives her the formula that makes her more intelligent.
What’s this “MC” and “II” nonsense? Are we on Twitter? I assume you mean “main character” (protagonist) and “inciting incident”.
I do not believe the “II” is when the “MC” realizes the wife could get the Noble Prize. It’s when he develops and gives her the formula that makes her more intelligent.
See lessA gifted geneticist perfects the formula for increasing intelligence, but using it on his gorgeous but not so gifted wife he creates a cynical tyrant and his only competition for the Nobel Prize.
I love the concept, the logline and, especially the title (sans question mark). I think it should be "...but BY using it...". Also, I don't get the cynical tyrant part, and it doesn't seem necessary, therefore: "A gifted geneticist perfects the formula for intelligence, but after testing it on his (Read more
I love the concept, the logline and, especially the title (sans question mark). I think it should be “…but BY using it…”. Also, I don’t get the cynical tyrant part, and it doesn’t seem necessary, therefore:
“A gifted geneticist perfects the formula for intelligence, but after testing it on his (dim-witted/dumb but gorgeous) wife, he creates his only competition for The Noble Prize!”
Great job, Paul Clarke!
See lessWhen her father disappears into Monaco city to escape his massive debt, a girl must trace him down or face an arranged marriage with the loan shark
When her father disappears into Monaco city to escape his massive debt, a girl must trace him down or face an arranged marriage with the loan shark Hi trystla! I gagree it's pretty good, but I think it can be more intriguing, enticing, and therefore, more effective. I would find a strong adjective tRead more
When her father disappears into Monaco city to escape his massive debt, a girl must trace him down or face an arranged marriage with the loan shark
Hi trystla! I gagree it’s pretty good, but I think it can be more intriguing, enticing, and therefore, more effective. I would find a strong adjective to describe the father character as well as the daughter, a character flaw that will obviously arc throughout the story, but also display irony as the story progresses. If he’s spineless, he may later have to become tough and stand up to the loan shark to get his daughter back- something like that. Same with her; if she was incorrigible towards him, she’ll have to overcome their differences in order to put his safety before her own in finding him, and force them to work as a team in order to get out of the predicament. That said, a new logline might read:
“When her GUTLESS father disappears in Monaco to escape his massive debt, his REBELLIOUS daughter must track him down or face an FORCED marriage with the SLEAZY loan shark.”
I think it’s a cool concept, too. Good job!
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