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  1. Posted: April 15, 2012In: Public

    As a series of devastating terrorist attacks are waged on American soil and the citizens of a nation in shock looks to their Government for reassurance, word publicly gets out that one of the embedded terrorists is negotiating a defection directly with the President's wife in return for the violence to stop.

    SQM
    Added an answer on April 15, 2012 at 1:26 pm

    Wow, you like them wordy don't you. "Needing government reassurance in the midst of homeland terrorist attacks, citizens are shocked when an inside leak reveals the First Lady is negotiating with an extortionist to stop the violence." Better, but still too much emphases on the "shock" and not enoughRead more

    Wow, you like them wordy don’t you.

    “Needing government reassurance in the midst of homeland terrorist attacks, citizens are shocked when an inside leak reveals the First Lady is negotiating with an extortionist to stop the violence.”

    Better, but still too much emphases on the “shock” and not enough on the action.

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  2. Posted: April 15, 2012In: Public

    When a famous Italian detective investigates the death of the daughter he didn\'t know he had, he uncovers more than just murder in this small, immigrant, upstate New York town.

    SQM
    Added an answer on April 15, 2012 at 9:38 am

    Thank you. Yes, the culture is important.

    Thank you. Yes, the culture is important.

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  3. Posted: April 13, 2012In: Public

    Populous

    SQM
    Added an answer on April 13, 2012 at 4:13 pm

    I like it. I'm tempted to play with it, but off hand, can't think of what to change. A young woman working for a federal department that requires reproductive couples to take parental exams discovers the covert nature behind the facade, and takes counter measures. Nah, yours is better.

    I like it. I’m tempted to play with it, but off hand, can’t think of what to change.

    A young woman working for a federal department that requires reproductive couples to take parental exams discovers the covert nature behind the facade, and takes counter measures.

    Nah, yours is better.

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