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A brash missionary and a local gang must set aside their feud and defend their village against a violent drug cartel.
That a missionary and a gang would be at odds seems self-evident, so I don't think detailing the feud is necessary for the logline. I wonder at the choice of 'brash' for the missionary. Not saying it couldn't work in the actual story, but it seems like the wrong note in the log line if you are settiRead more
That a missionary and a gang would be at odds seems self-evident, so I don’t think detailing the feud is necessary for the logline. I wonder at the choice of ‘brash’ for the missionary. Not saying it couldn’t work in the actual story, but it seems like the wrong note in the log line if you are setting these 2 parties up as opposites (which works.) Maybe something like ‘hard working’, ‘dedicated’, or ‘brave’ or something along those lines?
The one thing I think is missing is what exactly is the violent drug cartel trying to do here. So maybe “…must set aside their feud and defend their village against a violent drug cartel bent on…”
I just noticed the ‘making an example part’ after writing the second paragraph! That is better, but still a somewhat vague statement?
See lessA spaceship full of freaky clowns land on earth, a retired circus ringmaster must restore calm using the only thing that will save the world, his clown car.
I like the premise, but the logline doesn't tell enough about the journey. As a result the genre is unclear- comedy, drama, family, etc. The backstory part should be shortened/condensed to make room.
I like the premise, but the logline doesn’t tell enough about the journey. As a result the genre is unclear- comedy, drama, family, etc. The backstory part should be shortened/condensed to make room.
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