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EDITED: When a government experiment goes awry, a docile housewife teams up with an ambitious genetic engineer to defend New York City from the man-eating children created from her eggs
This is actually kind of awesome.! I have no idea how 'marketable' this is as a movie, but probably has at least some potential as a horror/action type of movie. I hope the script you have in mind goes over the top, as your logline suggests... A couple of suggestions for the logline- 1. Just to clarRead more
This is actually kind of awesome.! I have no idea how ‘marketable’ this is as a movie, but probably has at least some potential as a horror/action type of movie. I hope the script you have in mind goes over the top, as your logline suggests…
A couple of suggestions for the logline-
1. Just to clarify, I would add something like this to the beginning- “When an experiment to cure cancer goes awry,” (or whatever the original goal of her research was.)
See less2. Instead of teaming up with the armed forces, change that to the main character that assists her, and then characterize that person with an appropriate adjective. Having an interesting combo will add further interest to your story.
3. An adjective to describe your genetic engineer- is she inexperienced or young, or older, or impulsive, etc.?
EDITED: Desperate to save their TV show from cancellation, two feuding co-stars, an aging actress and a troubled younger actor, enter a fabricated public romance to boost ratings
DylanK nailed the feedback- you have a great premise, but a logline must set up the premise and also describe the main plot line or conflict.?So you've basically described the first 25 pages or so, what happens in the next 50 pages? You don't even need to rewrite your logline, you just need to add tRead more
DylanK nailed the feedback- you have a great premise, but a logline must set up the premise and also describe the main plot line or conflict.?So you’ve basically described the first 25 pages or so, what happens in the next 50 pages?
You don’t even need to rewrite your logline, you just need to add to it- “Desperate to resurrect their failing careers, an aging actress and a troubled younger actor enter a fabricated romance but…[PROBLEM]”
See lessA distrusting psychic interrogator, who steals information by entering a suspect?s mind, becomes infected by a recent suspect’s consciousness and must team up with his inner demons to stop his mind being taking over .
This one is really interesting! Your logline gives an idea of what the psychic must do ("team up with inner demons"), but could be a bit more specific. A simple re-word gives this- A distrusting psychic interrogator that?steals information directly from suspects' minds must team up with his inner deRead more
This one is really interesting! Your logline gives an idea of what the psychic must do (“team up with inner demons”), but could be a bit more specific. A simple re-word gives this-
A distrusting psychic interrogator that?steals information directly from suspects’ minds must team up with his inner demons to stop?a fragment of his latest suspect?s consciousness?from taking ?over his own mind.
It is still lacking a bit in specificity, as dpg alludes to above. But I do think I get a feel for the movie- sort of a ‘The Cell’ type movie with really cool set pieces that take place in the protag’s mind?
I’m not 100% convinced ‘distrusting’ is the best adjective, but I’m not sure what else could be used. Jaded? Disillusioned?
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