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When a deadly soil-borne virus is released in Canberra, an obsessed scientist battles military and political forces to save the city from pre-emptive destruction.
Haha. Are you sure you want to set it in Canberra? Syd, Melb, Perth, Adelaide all seem a bit more "at stake". Albury even! But seriously, the logline has some interest for me, suggesting some large and evil conspiracy. As a vector, I'm struggling to see "soil-borne" as something with urgency. "Pre-eRead more
Haha. Are you sure you want to set it in Canberra? Syd, Melb, Perth, Adelaide all seem a bit more “at stake”. Albury even! But seriously, the logline has some interest for me, suggesting some large and evil conspiracy. As a vector, I’m struggling to see “soil-borne” as something with urgency. “Pre-emptive”? Does that word add anything? If so it is not clear how it changes the destruction. Is annihilation a better word than destruction – but then it is Canberra and a myriad public servants we are staking, Haha. The scientist is “obsessed”. Again, does the word add anything in the context? It is hard to see how a scientific obsession relates to battling the virus or the politico-military axis of evil / good (depending on your view of the worth of Canberra and public servants). Good luck with it. BTW, not familiar with Flip.
See lessWhen women are refused jobs at the city's largest company, a group of women must overcome backward attitudes, language barriers, poverty and tradition to ignite a community battle from the factory gates to the highest courts, for equality.
Great concept. You should "prosecute" this idea if you're passionate about it. For me, the logline was too long and detailed. I could have got excited about "When women are refused jobs at the city's largest company, a group of women fight back!" Good luck with it. Lx
Great concept. You should “prosecute” this idea if you’re passionate about it.
For me, the logline was too long and detailed. I could have got excited about “When women are refused jobs at the city’s largest company, a group of women fight back!”
Good luck with it. Lx
See lessSpending months planning his wife's murder to make it look like suicide. A man comes home to find his wife has killed herself. He now has to prove he didn't do it.
Comma masquerading as a full stop. "... like a suicide, a man comes home..."
Comma masquerading as a full stop. “… like a suicide, a man comes home…”
See less