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When a deadly plague devastates the small village she’s passing, a cloistered sister, just out of the Abbey, hunts down clues to the seemingly magical affliction in order to discover who created the plague and save the town.
I think it's mostly good, but as she is "passing" the town my question is what it is she has to gain? Is she assigned her first case by the Abbey to prove herself? Is it her hometown? Her native town?
I think it’s mostly good, but as she is “passing” the town my question is what it is she has to gain? Is she assigned her first case by the Abbey to prove herself? Is it her hometown? Her native town?
See lessAfter living as a hermit for many years, Lyn rediscover the world through the delivery of a mysterious object. He wonders why he is pushing this huge box. When he needs to understand what pushes him.
I agree mostly with Aidan except for the example logline they wrote. As per the formula, you start with the inciting incident. "After discovering a mysterious object..." etc. The other question is why? What is at stake? What pushes your main character to go on this journey and push this huge box?
I agree mostly with Aidan except for the example logline they wrote.
As per the formula, you start with the inciting incident. “After discovering a mysterious object…” etc.
The other question is why? What is at stake? What pushes your main character to go on this journey and push this huge box?
See lessAfter an explosion opens a hole for demons to escape from Hell, the dweller of humanity, aka the devil’s son, goes to earth to run up the demons before Yahweh sends his armies to clean up the mess, sending every demons into oblivion along with the dweller, if he’s still there.
There are some questions that spawn from reading this logline. What explosion is this? Who caused it? Was it accidental? If so then you don't need to say that an explosion opened the portal, you can just say that the portal was opened. Also as Richiev said, it works so much better with a ticking cloRead more
There are some questions that spawn from reading this logline. What explosion is this? Who caused it? Was it accidental? If so then you don’t need to say that an explosion opened the portal, you can just say that the portal was opened. Also as Richiev said, it works so much better with a ticking clock. That way we feel the urgency and stakes.
See less