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Chris and his team plan to renovate a community of vacant row houses. After forcing a squatter out of one of the homes, they soon realize the neighborhood has a very dark history.
When a house renovator forces a squatter out of his home, he finds out the neighbourhood has a dark history, and must? After he forces a squatter out of his home, a house renovator learns the neighbourhood has a dark history, and must?? INTENTION: ? What do you think his intention is? His main objecRead more
When a house renovator forces a squatter out of his home, he finds out the neighbourhood has a dark history, and must?
After he forces a squatter out of his home, a house renovator learns the neighbourhood has a dark history, and must??
INTENTION: ? What do you think his intention is? His main objective goal? What happens next? Does he have to fight off the squatters??
OBSTACLE: Person above is right. ?Dark history? is too vague. We need something stronger and more specific. What is this guy actually up against??
I?d try to get that intention and obstacle as strong as possible.?
Anyways – good luck. Hope this helps.
See lessA Lieutenant in a drug gang, misreads a situation killing his boss. This sparks an internal war eventually leading to the destruction of his gang, his death and the loss of their terroritary.
INTENTION: must battle other gang members/must survive. I think his objective/intention - should be more specific.?OBSTACLE: battle other gang members for supremacy. I think this works. Feels a bit vague though.The inciting incident works. Aristotle said tragedy/great drama works when triggered by ?Read more
INTENTION: must battle other gang members/must survive. I think his objective/intention – should be more specific.?
OBSTACLE: battle other gang members for supremacy. I think this works. Feels a bit vague though.
The inciting incident works. Aristotle said tragedy/great drama works when triggered by ?a great human error? or ?error in reason?. Also – you could say killing his boss is a ?tragic deed? and certainly could be made more primal. Perhaps he could be his mentor? Best friend? Father?
These are just playing around with the idea??
1. After he kills his mob boss, his lieutenant must battle other gang members for supremacy.?
2. After he unintentionally kills his mentor, a mob enforcer must battle other gang members who vie for supremacy.
3. After he kills his boss to save his own neck, a mob enforcer must battle other gang members who vie for supremacy.
Could do “vying for supremacy” instead – saves words. Not sure if it’s the right word though.
I really wanted to add ?- at any cost? but I think that?s innate, right?
Lastly – I think you could push in on this guy?s dilemma?
In order to save his pregnant wife, a mob enforcer slays his mentor and boss – but must then deal with the underlings – who each want power, at any cost.
(That was quiet rushed btw. However – the pregnant wife means we have stakes.)
Anyways – good luck. Hope some of this helps.
See less“After a series of bizarre events erupt across the globe, a self-sabotaging math genius is forced, along with a team of hand-picked misfits, to? maintain a bug ridden simulation, namely, life as we know it.” Title: ‘Revelations’ – 1 Hour Scifi TV Pilot
INTENTION: A maths genius must destroy the bugs from inside an alternate reality simulator. OBSTACLE: that he?s self-sabotaging? that the misfit/nerds don?t get along? It seems like there?s a whole ton of obstacles - but I?m not sure what to go with? When a state of the art virtual world crashes, aRead more
INTENTION: A maths genius must destroy the bugs from inside an alternate reality simulator.
OBSTACLE: that he?s self-sabotaging? that the misfit/nerds don?t get along? It seems like there?s a whole ton of obstacles – but I?m not sure what to go with?
When a state of the art virtual world crashes, a maths genius must destroy the bugs from inside an alternate reality simulator.?
– I dropped the ?oddball assortment of nerds? and the part about entering the world.?
– I really hope the conflict/obstacle is innate here. I mean – it seems like hard work to destroy bugs from inside an alternative reality simulator.?
My advice would be to up the conflict/stakes.
Perhaps the nerds could be inexperienced (like Armageddon?).
Perhaps if they don?t do it properly – they get trapped in there (I think that?s like Wreck it Ralph, right?).
Regardless – Richiev?s logline is probably the cleanest one here.
Good luck!
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