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A thirty-something manchild, desperate to get his recently-dumped best friend laid, takes him to a party where his friend falls for a woman who only wants sex, whilst he falls in love for the first time? with his friend?s ex-fiance.
Thanks for the feedback everyone. I agree with everyone's points. I personally don't think it's a good logline - even as a working one. It's very busy. (Which would make it hard to pitch and for someone to digest.) Also - I put this exact logline up several months back and it got a vote. Yet anotherRead more
Thanks for the feedback everyone. I agree with everyone’s points. I personally don’t think it’s a good logline – even as a working one. It’s very busy. (Which would make it hard to pitch and for someone to digest.)
Also – I put this exact logline up several months back and it got a vote.
Yet another reminder to stand by your ideas regardless of what people are telling you. The industry is subjective.
See lessAn emotionally-stunted, apathetic playboy learns to grieve his father’s death and appreciate life from a terminally ill woman, who loves life.
DPG: My apologies for a late response. Thank you for a detailed response. Perhaps you can't mention it in the logline. The real objective/throughline/whatever you want to call it is camouflaged? Smuggled in. How about Citizen Kane? There Will Be Blood. I mean - both of those objectives funnel down tRead more
DPG:
My apologies for a late response. Thank you for a detailed response.
Perhaps you can’t mention it in the logline. The real objective/throughline/whatever you want to call it is camouflaged? Smuggled in.
How about Citizen Kane? There Will Be Blood. I mean – both of those objectives funnel down to a subjective need. This makes me think of the two loglines dilemma. One that you use for you. And one you tart up and sell to people.
The latter you’d probably keep objective. The first one – perhaps keep in the character’s super-objective? What does he/she really want.
See lessAn emotionally-stunted, apathetic playboy learns to grieve his father’s death and appreciate life from a terminally ill woman, who loves life.
DPG - The idea reminds me of HAROLD AND MAUDE and um, BOBBY DEERFIELD. There's also SWEET NOVEMBER and AUTUMN IN NEW YORK. I can't say it's original ha. Doesn?t that refer to a subjective need rather than an objective goal? Do you think one should always go in with an objective goal? Is that a hardRead more
DPG –
The idea reminds me of HAROLD AND MAUDE and um, BOBBY DEERFIELD. There’s also SWEET NOVEMBER and AUTUMN IN NEW YORK. I can’t say it’s original ha.
Doesn?t that refer to a subjective need rather than an objective goal?
Do you think one should always go in with an objective goal? Is that a hard and fast rule?
A friend of mine said the same thing – that the character can’t be after something subjective like “to be with the woman he loves, etc” and it has to be concrete/objective/external like “has to get to new york or else his wife is killed”.
Certainly – external makes sense. I mean the I.I. has to be a concrete external event.
Thanks for the feedback – I do think you’re right here.
A previous logline I had around Christmas time was lacking because the protagonist had no objective goal. My friend said the same thing. And when I outlined it – it was coming out like ketchup. It really did become a convoluted mess.
It was this: Trapped in his old hometown during a snowstorm, a charming con artist must spend Christmas with a dysfunctional family ? and unexpectedly finds the family he never had.
With this in mind, what’s the objective goal in GROUNDHOG DAY? I’m trying to think of something with a subjective goal but coming up dry.
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