1. Posted: November 22, 2019In:

    During an unruly blizzard, a family is trapped in their house with a malevolent ghost who has their daughter, and given the choice – get out and live or look for their daughter and die.

    thedarkhorse Samurai

    Hi Richiev, Yeah, admittedly this one is still muddled. I wanted this demonic ghost to actually give them the choice for the freedom. But yeah - I'm not sure if it's the dilemma I'm looking for. Of course they're gonna stay - it's not a hard dilemma. The blizzard is going to be there - I'm just notRead more

    Hi Richiev,

    Yeah, admittedly this one is still muddled.

    I wanted this demonic ghost to actually give them the choice for the freedom. But yeah – I’m not sure if it’s the dilemma I’m looking for. Of course they’re gonna stay – it’s not a hard dilemma.

    The blizzard is going to be there – I’m just not sure if it should be part of the logline.

    I’ll work on this and hopefully have something tomorrow.

    I’m thinking of this:

    During an unruly blizzard, a family is trapped in their house with the malevolent ghost of a serial killer – and a man from the father’s secret past.

    Again – there’s no hook here or dilemma. Nothing that sets it apart.

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  2. Posted: November 14, 2019In:

    A couple with a criminal past, try to start again in a cop neighbourhood, but when children start going missing, they suspect their neighbour ? and set out to prove it.

    thedarkhorse Samurai

    A couple with a criminal past, try to start again in a cop neighbourhood, but when children start going missing, they suspect their neighbour ? and set out to prove it.? I think what's missing here might be the goal isn't strong enough. Perhaps if their kid went missing instead? I mean I think it'sRead more

    A couple with a criminal past, try to start again in a cop neighbourhood, but when children start going missing, they suspect their neighbour ? and set out to prove it.?

    I think what’s missing here might be the goal isn’t strong enough.

    Perhaps if their kid went missing instead?

    I mean I think it’s fine but not exactly “wow”.

    I considered putting “reputable” in front of neighbour – but I want to keep it lean.

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  3. Posted: November 14, 2019In:

    When a working class town is terrorised by an escaped killer, a married couple team up with the creepy new priest to stop who they believe might be the devil.

    thedarkhorse Samurai

    A family man teams up with a priest to stop the ghost of a murderer ? a man whose death he is responsible for, and who is bent on revenge.- My previous logline for this. Actually might be more of a plot point as opposed to logline.

    A family man teams up with a priest to stop the ghost of a murderer ? a man whose death he is responsible for, and who is bent on revenge.

    – My previous logline for this. Actually might be more of a plot point as opposed to logline.

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