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When their conversion to goodness is discovered by Lucifer, a young devil and his converted, ‘goody two shoes’ family flee Hell for the suburban life of Canberra where the boy finds that being a horned, red-skinned devil and ‘fitting in’ to Earthly life is not as easy as he thought.
Some great feedback above. I think your last draft is pretty good. In fact, it could almost be pitched as a series, just IMO... a modern day riff on the Adams Family/ Munsters ;) Best of luck.
Some great feedback above.
I think your last draft is pretty good. In fact, it could almost be pitched as a series, just IMO… a modern day riff on the Adams Family/ Munsters 😉
Best of luck.
See lessWhen a women?s prison workgang is attacked by 19th Century demon possessed, private-school girls, the head prisoner must destroy them to save the new inmate.
I don't see your Queen Bee as being particularly unsympathetic, but it shouldn't take too much tweaking to make her endearing... (maybe by changing her description to 'Queen Bee' could help here, I think it is well known enough with being associated with the highest ranking prisoner in a women's priRead more
I don’t see your Queen Bee as being particularly unsympathetic, but it shouldn’t take too much tweaking to make her endearing… (maybe by changing her description to ‘Queen Bee’ could help here, I think it is well known enough with being associated with the highest ranking prisoner in a women’s prison…)
For me, regardless of a Protagonist’s moral fibre, if they are INTERESTING, then I think, like dpg, that they need at least one endearing trait that you could highlight in the logline via her description… but this eludes to a character driven plot … horror (or, for Snydites, MITH), is driven by the monster, in this case, the attacking demons (ghost’s of the school girls?), as well as the sin committed — so if the logline’s focus is more on demons – maybe by giving us the inciting incident that causes Miranda and Co. to attack the prison (the sin) you don’t have to worry so much about describing your lead with as much detail as something from another genre. Alternatively, the relationship between the Queen Bee and New Fish needs more attention if you are going for something other than horror. My take, anyway.
I think it has potential, but the logline could make more of the joke (or, the hook…)
Best of luck.
See lessWhen a deadly soil-borne virus is released in Canberra, an obsessed scientist battles military and political forces to save the city from pre-emptive destruction.
Why Canberra?... and what is "Flip"?
Why Canberra?… and what is “Flip”?
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