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A reticent young mother, grieving the death of her husband on 9 11 joins three widows who take on the U.S. government, looking for answers to the century?s most heinous crime
Thanks for the feedback guys -- both of you are right of course, in that the main goal and action are weak/ vague atm... I need to research this story some more -- which is essentially the true story of these four woman (from the pov of the youngest/ most private) who want an official investigationRead more
Thanks for the feedback guys — both of you are right of course, in that the main goal and action are weak/ vague atm…
I need to research this story some more — which is essentially the true story of these four woman (from the pov of the youngest/ most private) who want an official investigation — they struggle to get any attention and put themselves into the mainstream media to get it… their efforts lead to the creation of the 9 11 commission (without these four woman there would not have been one…) and find themselves at the head of the steering committee for it.
You ask some great questions dpg — they are not satisfied with the governments response of “no one could have seen this coming…” and want to know that something like this will not happen on American soil again.
I’ll continue to look into it and will play around with the logline.
Cheers.
See lessA reticent young mother, grieving the death of her husband on 9 11 joins three widows who take on the U.S. government, looking for answers to the century?s most heinous crime
Thanks for the feedback guys -- both of you are right of course, in that the main goal and action are weak/ vague atm... I need to research this story some more -- which is essentially the true story of these four woman (from the pov of the youngest/ most private) who want an official investigationRead more
Thanks for the feedback guys — both of you are right of course, in that the main goal and action are weak/ vague atm…
I need to research this story some more — which is essentially the true story of these four woman (from the pov of the youngest/ most private) who want an official investigation — they struggle to get any attention and put themselves into the mainstream media to get it… their efforts lead to the creation of the 9 11 commission (without these four woman there would not have been one…) and find themselves at the head of the steering committee for it.
You ask some great questions dpg — they are not satisfied with the governments response of “no one could have seen this coming…” and want to know that something like this will not happen on American soil again.
I’ll continue to look into it and will play around with the logline.
Cheers.
See lessA bounty hunter arriving from an alternate reality holds bar patrons hostage in order to trap a fugitive killer but soon discovers one of the hostages may be more dangerous than the expected fugitive.
... and lastly -- maybe a good question to ask before penning further edits: What is the hero's main action throughout the film? ATM I get that he is hunted by a time and reality manipulating killer... in a bar -- but what does that equate to in an action? Is he hiding? For me this is where I get coRead more
… and lastly — maybe a good question to ask before penning further edits: What is the hero’s main action throughout the film? ATM I get that he is hunted by a time and reality manipulating killer… in a bar — but what does that equate to in an action? Is he hiding? For me this is where I get confused. I think that if you focus on his main action, your logline/ story would become a lot clearer.
I get you don’t really appreciate my feedback — I’m sorry if it comes across as too harsh, or not note worthy — but I’m sincerely only wishing to help, by being as honest with folks here as I can. It’s what I expect whenever I get the gonads to post a logline here. You obviously have high standards when it comes to originality — which is awesome… I think that good be balanced with some stronger structure/ clarity. I only provide feedback when I am grabbed by a concept, even if I don’t have a good handle on a story.
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