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On the run from a Yakuza enforcer, a young Londoner would rather die than be captured but the enforcer is under oath to kill himself if he fails.
I think the fact that the intended protagonist is prepared to commit suicide (which gets lost in the logline as it reads... he's just prepared to die...) acts as a pretty good hook and isn't something you see too often... so what you've got going on is both a protagonist and an antagonist who are boRead more
I think the fact that the intended protagonist is prepared to commit suicide (which gets lost in the logline as it reads… he’s just prepared to die…) acts as a pretty good hook and isn’t something you see too often… so what you’ve got going on is both a protagonist and an antagonist who are both prepared to commit suicide if they fail in their respective missions — this to me is the hook. The other issue I see is ‘Young Londoner’ — IMO this is vague. Yes, we know where he’s from (if it is a he…), but we don’t know his function — either in the film or in society.
‘After uncovering a Yakuza secret that could kill thousands of innocents, a young man (or whoever he is function-wise) must out-run a Yakuza enforcer under a suicide oath to catch him, and (or, but) is prepared to kill himself if he’s caught.’
See lessWhen a young, lonely boy discovers a living, damaged, patchwork-teddybear in the attic of the house he just moved into, he promises to help his secret friend to find his former owner. But finding the guy would mean losing the new friend…
After discovering a living breathing teddy-bear in his new attic, a young boy makes a promise to find the bears' previous owner; but when he does, he risks losing the best friend he's ever had. Animated?
After discovering a living breathing teddy-bear in his new attic, a young boy makes a promise to find the bears’ previous owner; but when he does, he risks losing the best friend he’s ever had.
Animated?
See lessA twenty eight year old woman is about to get engaged to her great boyfriend, when the ex she hasn?t gotten over moves back into town. All of a sudden she isn?t sure if her boyfriend is really the one, and so she spends time decorating her ex?s new condo, trying to figure it all out.
Hi Cameron, just thought I'd have play with this: When a young interior decorator becomes obsessed with decorating her ex-boyfriends condo, she must choose between her current fiance and the former man of her dreams, or risk losing both forever... Just thought I'd turn her into an interior decoratorRead more
Hi Cameron, just thought I’d have play with this:
When a young interior decorator becomes obsessed with decorating her ex-boyfriends condo, she must choose between her current fiance and the former man of her dreams, or risk losing both forever…
Just thought I’d turn her into an interior decorator — gives her a ‘front’ to be there all the time… The inciting incident is lost though in my version (the boyfriend coming back to town) though. 🙂
Good luck.
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