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When a debt ridden single cell chemist crack addict, shoots for the stars, he is hit with a hot shot by a ruthless power hungry Wheeler dealer, but when the crack fuses with his medication, he has 10 months to live now he must genetically reverse his mutating form to survive.
Hi, I agree, this is very confusing. I spent more time trying to figure out what you were trying to say than seeing the key points. Good luck
Hi,
I agree, this is very confusing. I spent more time trying to figure out what you were trying to say than seeing the key points.
Good luck
See lessAfter a Great War the world divides and is ruled by different beliefs, in order to maintain peace. An Empress finds the cure to fatal diseases and refuses to share it, unless they join the sustainable lifestyle she leads.
Hi, Agree with the above. She sounds more like a wicked witch type character who wants to start a war - in which case who is going to bring her down/your protagonist? If alternatively she is intended to be the protagonist you might need to word it differently.
Hi,
Agree with the above. She sounds more like a wicked witch type character who wants to start a war – in which case who is going to bring her down/your protagonist?
If alternatively she is intended to be the protagonist you might need to word it differently.
See lessSean Metcalfe is a family man first and salesman second. When a tragic car accident sets off a series of events, Sean will need to come up with the ultimate sales pitch to keep his family together.
Hi, I find your longline quite conflicting. The start sounds like a tragedy but the second half almost sounds like a scam that your protagonist intends to pull off? Is this a comedy or drama? Perhaps you can focus your longline on the story you are telling. What was the tragedy? I assume death. WhyRead more
Hi,
I find your longline quite conflicting. The start sounds like a tragedy but the second half almost sounds like a scam that your protagonist intends to pull off?
Is this a comedy or drama?
Perhaps you can focus your longline on the story you are telling.
What was the tragedy? I assume death.
Why is the family threatening to fall apart?
Maybe try to use a formula along the lines of:
Following a car accident in which [something happens], a family oriented salesman is forced to [do something] in order for [the desired outcome to occur].
Good luck
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