1. Posted: June 23, 2013In:

    Three friends become entangled in a series of mind games as they argue over what they should do when a local Sheriff comes looking for the woman they find murdered in their isolated cabin

    wilsondownunder Penpusher

    Thanks for the feedback. Yes, they are professing innocence to each other. At the same time each individual tries to control the situation by creating doubt and fear in the others minds. There is a twist which makes it hard to sell the whole story in the logline without giving it all away. I'll haveRead more

    Thanks for the feedback.

    Yes, they are professing innocence to each other. At the same time each individual tries to control the situation by creating doubt and fear in the others minds. There is a twist which makes it hard to sell the whole story in the logline without giving it all away. I’ll have a think about how I might hint at it though.

    I noticed the comma after I hit submit. It would be good if you could edit small errors

    Thanks again

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  2. Posted: June 17, 2013In:

    After nine years, a NASA communications expert reconnects with the astronaut she believed to be dead and helps rescue him from space.

    wilsondownunder Penpusher

    It might be more fun if instead of focussing on rescuing him, start with his return to Earth. You could cut nine years down to a few months (which would still raise interest/questions), have him return in human form but harbouring an Alien force and then have him set about killing everyone until stoRead more

    It might be more fun if instead of focussing on rescuing him, start with his return to Earth. You could cut nine years down to a few months (which would still raise interest/questions), have him return in human form but harbouring an Alien force and then have him set about killing everyone until stopped. I’ve given no thought here as to the ‘why’…still not overly original but you could create a kick ass bad guy

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  3. Posted: June 22, 2013In:

    An eccentric investment banker resorts to a life of chance making all decisions based on the flip of a coin after losing billions for small investors, but when he descends heavily to a life of crime he must learn to trust his own judgement before he loses those he loves.

    wilsondownunder Penpusher

    Hi What genre would this be? The opening suggests a farce but then delving into a world of crime suggests something darker. From reading this I'm more interested as to how he ends up in a world of crime rather than his quirks. Because I don't know much more about your story it would be hard for me tRead more

    Hi

    What genre would this be? The opening suggests a farce but then delving into a world of crime suggests something darker. From reading this I’m more interested as to how he ends up in a world of crime rather than his quirks. Because I don’t know much more about your story it would be hard for me to suggest an alternative structure for your logline; but it sounds like you’ve got a guy who has lost his confidence who needs to find it again in order to get out of a dangerous situation to save his loved ones.

    On the other hand, a story about a guy who makes every decision based on the outcome of a coin toss could make for a funny movie in itself.

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