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Chris and his team plan to renovate a community of vacant row houses. After forcing a squatter out of one of the homes, they soon realize the neighborhood has a very dark history.
I think you misunderstood the previous commentators when they asked "who is the lead character?" They didn't mean give us his name, proper names have no place in loglines, rather they meant describe the lead character using traits that will either help or hurt him reach his goal. Now what is the leaRead more
I think you misunderstood the previous commentators when they asked “who is the lead character?” They didn’t mean give us his name, proper names have no place in loglines, rather they meant describe the lead character using traits that will either help or hurt him reach his goal.
Now what is the lead’s goal? What does he want to do after he realizes the neighbor hood has a “dark history”? Does he give up? Does he continue? Does he stop construction and call in a witch doctor?
As others said previously,? “dark history” is too vague to be interesting. How does your lead realize there is a dark history? Do his men start dying in odd accidents? Does he see ghosts? Be specific. You can hide the big reveal that comes at the end, but the essence of the first act must be clear.
Finally, a good place to start learning about loglines is by clicking on the “Formula” link at the top of the page.
See lessA thirty-something manchild, desperate to get his recently-dumped best friend laid, takes him to a party where his friend falls for a woman who only wants sex, whilst he falls in love for the first time? with his friend?s ex-fiance.
And then? The man's friend found a women to have sex with and the man himself has a new girlfriend. Everyone's happy. Where's the conflict?
And then? The man’s friend found a women to have sex with and the man himself has a new girlfriend. Everyone’s happy. Where’s the conflict?
See less?Liam Santos comes to town to become a great artist, there he meets and falls in love with Fabio Grun, a successful young lawyer.? A car accident leaves the couple in a coma, only one of them can live thanks to the heart of one of them and thus be able to fulfill their dreams. —
Please take a look at the "Formula" link at the top of the page. A logline should be written from the viewpoint of the main character. As concisely as possible, it should tell us something about the MC, the inciting incident that kickstarts the story, and the MC's objective given the inciting incideRead more
Please take a look at the “Formula” link at the top of the page. A logline should be written from the viewpoint of the main character. As concisely as possible, it should tell us something about the MC, the inciting incident that kickstarts the story, and the MC’s objective given the inciting incident. None of your suggested loglines gives us the information needed to evaluate the story.
I think that in your case, the MC is the one who survives, so write the logline from the viewpoint of the survivor. Mike Pedley has suggested is may be someone else altogether, if so write the logline from the POV of that person.
Remember, a logline is not a tagline. Taglines are designed to attract audiences. That is where you use flowery phrases like “A fatal accident tries to separate a love without limits”. A logline should be more objective.
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