A young woman’s life turn upside down when she joins a secret agency to fend off her bullies.

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Project Butterfly

4 reviews

MitchW · Logliner · 445 pts

I'm still not seeing a clear connection between all your elements. What is the inciting incident for your story? Why would a secret agency arrest a random girl for weed? Why would they let a random girl join said secret organisation? And what does that have to do with her being bullied? I'm struggling to think of a way to put all of these elements into a cohesive logline which IMHO means something is missing

IvyEight6 · Wordsmith · 1,840 pts

1) She was arrested for possessing weed.
2) She lost her sister from cancer.

MitchW · Logliner · 445 pts

The event could be that she begins being bullied and that's what pushes her to a secret agency. But I'm not so sure how you'll be able to connect those two things. If it's a secret agency how does she know about it. And why would bullies cause her to somehow find the agency?